Re: What is Usenet? [REPOST]

[email protected] (Sn!pe) wrote in
news:1qk11x6.10zulnoshlyacN%[email protected]: 

> [from: news.groups, alt.fan.usenet]
> 
> Scott Dorsey <[email protected]> wrote:
> 
> [...]
>> Larry Doering posted the following to talk.bizarre in the
>> mid-nineties: 
>> 
>> ] THINK of the computer highway AS a highway.
>> ] 
>> ] There it is again.  Some clueless FOOL talking about the
>> ] "Information Superhighway."  They don't know JACK about the Net. 
>> ] It's NOTHING like a Superhighway.  That's a BAD metaphor.
>> ] 
>> ] Yeah, but suppose the metaphor ran in the OTHER direction.  Suppose
>> ] the HIGHWAYS were like the NET.  All right!  Severe craziness.  A
>> ] highway HUNDREDS of lanes wide.  Most with potholes.  Privately
>> ] operated bridges and overpasses.  No highway patrol.  A couple of
>> ] rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whistles.  500 member VIGILANTE
>> ] POSSES with nuclear weapons.  237 ON RAMPS at every intersection. 
>> ] NO SIGNS.  Wanna get to Ensenada?  Holler out the window at a
>> ] passing truck to ask directions.  AD HOC traffic laws.  Some lanes
>> ] would VOTE to make use by a single-occupant-vehicle a CAPITAL
>> ] OFFENSE on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and 9:00.  Other
>> ] lanes would just SHOOT you without a trial for talking on a car
>> ] phone. 
>> ] 
>> ] AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking BUS with hundreds of EBOLA
>> ] victims and a TOILET spewing out on the road behind it.  Throwing
>> ] DEAD WOMBATS and rotten cabbage at the other cars most of which
>> ] have been ASSEMBLED AT HOME from kits.  Some are 2.5 horsepower
>> ] LAWNMOWER ENGINES with a top speed of nine miles an hour.  Others
>> ] burn NITROGLYCERINE and IDLE at 120.
>> ] 
>> ] No license tags.  World War II BOMBER NOSE ART instead.  Terrifying
>> ] paintings of huge teeth or VAMPIRE EAGLES.  Bumper mounted MACHINE
>> ] GUNS.  Flip somebody the finger on this highway and get a WHITE
>> ] PHOSPHORUS GRENADE up your tailpipe.  Flatbed trucks with ANTI-
>> ] AIRCRAFT MISSILE BATTERIES to shoot down the KRUD Traffic Watch
>> ] helicopter.  A little kid on a tricycle with a squirtgun filled
>> ] with HYDROCHLORIC ACID.
>> ] 
>> ] NO OFFRAMPS.
>> ] 
>> ] Now THAT'S the way to run an Interstate Highway system.
>> 
>> 
>> I hope this is helpful.  Much of this applies to Usenet.
>> --scott
> 
> 

LOL!