A few Clipping-grams

First off, the Orlando Fire Department has described a call-out to
Florida's Shooters World gun range, where a teenaged girl had climbed
inside a gun safe on the showroom floor and found herself behind its
closed and, therefore, locked door.  Fire District Chief J.J. White
stated that the crew began by trying the manufacturer's suggestions.
When 'the fail-safe system failed on it', they asked the girl to stand
back and then used hydraulic extraction tools to bend the safe to
their will. 

     Shooters World = Worthless door!


Daphne Taylor was sleeping under a dark-coloured blanket on the
pavement along a poorly lit Portland, Oregon, street when she was run
over by a maintenance vehicle operated by the homelessness-relief
charity Central City Concern.  She was left with a broken leg and has
filed suit against the charity and the driver, Warren Schaupp, for
$450,000.  
  Attorney Greg Kafoury stated that the not-for-profit entity had
rejected a settlement that involved providing Taylor with a home.  She
is still sleeping on the streets, and the case is still in court.

     Daphne Taylor = Yeah, Portland.     


To unwind after a long day at work, North Carolina emergency-room
physician Devainder Goli decided to watch a film on his mobile phone. 
In combination with his car's regrettably named Autopilot feature,
this decision caused Goli, 66, to crash into a Nash County patrol car
that was responding to an accident on the motorway.  The Tesla's
impact sent the police car smashing into a North Carolina State 
Highway Patrol vehicle, in turn.  Two officers were knocked to the
ground but not seriously injured. 
  
Maybe next time...
     Devainder Goli = Drive along, die


Sylvia Driskell is a 66-year-old Nebraska woman and self-professed
ambassador of 'God, And His, Son Jesus Christ' who has chosen to
represent herself in the court case she has filed against all gay
people on Earth.  With Driskell v. Homosexuals, she is calling upon
U.S. District Judge John M. Gerrard to issue a ruling on whether
homosexuality is a sin.  In lieu of case law, she offers quotations
from the Bible and a dictionary, along with such arguments as this:
'[T]hey the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of
homosexuality.  Why else would they have been hiding in the closet.'

     Sylvia Driskell = I'll rail vs. dykes 


Having judged the novel coronavirus to be a hoax and deeming diagnoses
of it to be part of a conspiracy, Florida mother and registered nurse
Carole Brunton Davis decided to take her immunocompromised daughter,
Carsyn, to a church-sponsored 'COVID party'.  According to the medical
examiner's report, the event, attended by 100+ mask-free children,
left Carsyn with a telltale cough and headaches.  When she did not
improve, Davis initiated home treatment with azithromycin.  That
didn't help, so, when Carsyn 'looked gray', Carole attached the
teenager to her grandfather's oxygen machine and then tried
hydroxychloroquine, before finally taking the 17-year-old to a
hospital for intensive care.  Less than two days later, she was dead
or, in her mother's words, 'pain free'. 

     Carsyn Leigh Davis = Viral chases, dying
      
     Fort Myers's Carole Brunton Davis = 
     Very dumb loser's a frantic sort, no?


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