Why I want to make it big

There are some people who think that me wanting to do big things with my life is narcissism. No, it is not narcissism. I had teachers who saw great things in me. I want to live up to their expectations. For me to live an obscure, insignificant life would be a betrayal of their efforts and their trust.

I had a musician friend in California who decided that he was going to downgrade his expectations. He wanted to become a rocker, then he decided to pursue a career in real estate. I can respect that he made that choice. It probably worked for him. However that does not mean that I am obligated to do the same thing myself.

In a Russian film “Bolshoi,” a ballerina’s mother tells her that she is selfish. No, she is a star. What she does brings fame and joy to the family; and she does that much more than if she had pursued a more conventional career.

Is it selfish to be in a field – such as translating poetry – that gets lots of attention? Doing this brings pride and fame to my family and loved ones. And in doing that I am doing a lot more to benefit my family and loved ones than I did was when I was in computers, where I was just one of the guys.

I don’t only aggrandize myself. I also aggrandize the people who have expected from me great things. What I do doesn’t only bring attention to me; it also brings attention to people close to me and to the people who educated me. I want my teachers Hughlings Himwich and Henry Biddle to get recognized for the work that they have done. And I want my school, St. Stephen’s St. Agnes School, to get proper recognition as well.

As for the people who think that I don’t deal with reality, they are simply wrong. I look at reality as it is faced by many people and address it. I have original thought on many subjects. Me addressing social issues is not whining or blaming or anything of the sort. It is addressing issues facing many other people.

So now I am starting a class in relationship counselling, and I expect to get work in the field. I was going to take a course in domestic violence, but I realized that me doing that was going to start a war. Instead I will be helping relationships stay together instead of tearing them apart; and that is something that just about anyone would say is a good effort.

So I’ve taken some time off of paid employment to translate full body of poetry by Russian poets Marina Tsvetayeva and Igor Severyanin. I have been told that I am well-known around Europe for my work. I’ve made a significant contribution to society, and I am about to do more. My next project, once again, is becoming a relationship counsellor. And that is something that can be beneficial to many people.