Romantic love and arranged marriages

In recent times there has been a lot of agitation against romantic love.

The simple fact is that most people will want to have families and children=
, and it is best that this be done within the framework of the relationship=
s in which people love one another than one in which they do not.

I am reminded of Winston Churchill: =E2=80=9CDemocracy is the worst form of=
 government in the world except all others.=E2=80=9D With love we see the s=
ame thing. Love matches can go wrong =E2=80=93 sometimes badly wrong =E2=80=
=93 but so can arranged marriages. It does not mean that they are bad.

One thing that=E2=80=99s special about romantic love is that it combines th=
e physical and the spiritual. The passion is of both body and soul. The res=
ult is a much richer experience of life. And another thing that=E2=80=99s s=
pecial about romantic love is that it gives people ability to choose their =
partners, thus affirming their liberty and self-sovereignty.

That love relationships can go wrong, everyone knows. But arranged marriage=
s can go very wrong as well. In India, 40,000 women a year die from domesti=
c violence. To these women, being able to choose their partner is a dream. =
The people in the West who have a negative view of romantic love should obs=
erve the situation in India before they appreciate what they have in their =
home country. Arranged marriages is the alternative to romantic love; and i=
t is not a better alternative.

One claim I keep hearing is that romantic love is irrational. I have known =
scientists and military personnel who started their matches with love at fi=
rst sight and were still going strong in their 90s. These people are ration=
al enough; in fact they are more rational than the people who militate agai=
nst love. They are strong both of heart and of mind, and we stand to learn =
from them.

So that while romantic love can very well go wrong, it does not mean that i=
t is bad. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn=E2=80=99t. There can b=
e any number of reasons for both. Problems happen in love-based situations;=
 problems also happen in non-love-based situations such as arranged marriag=
es. In affirming romantic love, one affirms liberty and self-sovereignty. A=
nd that is a noble state of affairs toward which it is worthwhile to strive=
.