Vindicating Love

In America, many women =E2=80=93 especially the feminist kind =E2=80=93 dis=
liked me. I came to the conclusion that the reason for that was conflict of=
 expectations. Both my mother and my grandmother were superwomen, and I got=
 used to female beauty and goodness without myself being especially attract=
ive physically or personally. So many women saw me as a bottom-feeder.

However I did have things to offer the women that I was with. One was affec=
tion and passion. Another was appreciation. Another was quite good poetry. =
Another was addressing their concerns. And of course when I was making good=
 money in the computer industry I had that to offer as well.

One benefit of this state of affairs is that bad women avoided me. I did no=
t have what they wanted. The women I did attract were the artistic and phil=
osophical kind. As such, these were frequently accused of being crazy or ev=
il. However they were all beautiful, intelligent and exciting. Some lived i=
n mansions and some have been homeless; but all were amazing as romantic pa=
rtners. And all had experienced completely unfair mistreatment.

They, like me, were the romantic type. In contemporary society the romantic=
 women become punching bags, and the romantic men get treated as criminals.=
 We all had a strong influence from Romantic poetry and literature. We appl=
ied the concepts to things in our lives. It worked when we found one anothe=
r. The result, besides beautiful shares, was also good poetry and art on bo=
th sides.

Now romantic attitudes have come under a lot of criticism. Apparently it is=
 unrealistic, narcissistic or childish. It is not narcissistic; it is about=
 valuing the other person rather than about valuing yourself. It is not unr=
ealistic; people's convictions have a large role in shaping the reality of =
their lives, and people who base their actions on such beliefs make these b=
eliefs a part of social reality. Nor is it childish; I have known marriages=
 that started with love at first sight and were going strong when the partn=
ers were in their 80s.

Then there is the claim that it is antisocial. Do not tell that to the Worl=
d War II generation. They built a very successful society while in many cas=
es basing their matches on romantic love. Maybe such things become antisoci=
al in societies that want to snuff them out; but societies do not have to b=
e that way.

Another claim is that it is nature's way to get you to do its bidding. Is t=
hat such a bad thing? Is it a bad thing furthermore that such matches shoul=
d lead to marriage and family? Most people will want to have families. Most=
 people will want to have children. It is much better that this be done wit=
hin the context of a relationship where people love one another than within=
 a relationship in which people do not.

Probably the most ridiculous claim I've heard on the subject is that it is =
misogynistic. That claim is a Big Lie. That claim is precise inversion of t=
ruth. A misogynist is somebody who hates women. A man who writes poetry for=
 women is not a misogynist; he is the opposite of a misogynist. He is a man=
 who loves women, or at least the women for whom he writes poetry. To claim=
 anything to the contrary is absurd.

Then there is the claim that the people who are attracted to such things ar=
e narcissists or sociopaths or perverts, and that these people can't love. =
Even ones who can't feel love =E2=80=93 as we are told about sociopaths - c=
an choose to act in a loving manner. Use your mind for what your heart fail=
s to do.=20

When something is under attack in society, its manifestations are at a disa=
dvantage. This reinforces the false claim that there is something wrong wit=
h it. Especially when partners are young, inexperienced and not versed in s=
ocial manipulation, their relationships can be easily poisoned or destroyed=
 by people versed in such things. This leads to situations such as the one =
that I had in 1995, when I passionately loved a woman only to have her step=
mother tell her that I was using her. Completely untrue, but it appears tha=
t she believed it. Some say that love is the most powerful force in the uni=
verse, but in fact love is quite fragile. Its value is its beauty, not its =
power, and the correct place for power is to protect the love.

One thing that I have seen in some situations is what I call the Iago behav=
ior. Sometimes a man would genuinely love a woman, only to have his bar bud=
dies or his family stuff his head with paranoid nonsense and convince him t=
hat the woman is doing the wrong thing or that the woman is evil. In many c=
ase these people would claim that the man owed it to other men or even to G=
od to tramp women down. This would destroy even the most loving relationshi=
ps and lead them to become abusive. Then of course the feminists would look=
 at this behavior and say that it means that men are evil or that love is a=
 racket. In fact the problem was neither with men nor with love. The proble=
m was with the ugliness that surrounded them and which was more experienced=
 than were they.

I want to see romantic love vindicated and becoming a fertile ground for be=
tter family life. This will create better family situations. As for the peo=
ple with strong romantic influence, it will give them a reason to live and =
to excel, bringing into the civilization a rightfully disaffected constitue=
ncy.

I want people growing up now to avoid situations such as what I had in 1995=
. To that effect I offer my arguments on the subject. Use these arguments t=
o defend your relationships and make your relationships blossom for life.