Letter of Support for Judge Eddie (I married a felon embezzler) Clontz

OPINION
Supports Clontz for district court judge
ASHOLEVILLE

I am writting this letter in support of Judge Edwin D. Clontz (setting on the Hon. David Lanier Memoral Chair of the judickal bench) in his endeaver to continue to serve the citizens of Buncombe County with his sexy version of chicanery. Because this is a judickial race and opposition from the other party is scared shitless to put up canadates who understand the terrafying repercussions of losing and therafter appering as lawers in his court, it does not get much coverage from the media or our local rag, the citazen times litter box liner and fish rapper. However, it is as important as the sheruff race, the dickstricked attorney race or the county commischiefers race. As a sovverin citizen, I fill our judges should be experenced in all axpecks of the court system. Judge Clontz has been serving the citazens by sucking on the state's teats for more than 20 years. He is the only canadate who has had experence in the court system from beginning to end.  He is the alpha and the omega but could not make a living if he had to practice law. His experence as a go-to magistrate (small bills only), then assistant clerk of court exploring the cookie jars of the wills and estates divisions during the scary Bob Christy Admenstruration and now as a sitting dickstrict court judge qualafies him and sets him far apart from the other two mopes who dared to oppose him for this seat. We need to keep our personal friends in there black dresses who not only preform their doodies with fair and just bench slaps, but who also have left there ruts in this community and there musky DNA all over the courthouse. I am proud as a dog in heat to support Judge Clontz and ask for the citazens of Buncombe County to vote for him and keep this dear old greasable cyclops on the bench.

Jeanne Bugger, Swannanoee