Sham Judge J. Calvin Hill: QUOTES!

"Come and be with us in my cortrum and watch me pass a baseball over the heads of the crowd with one of my pet lawers such as Skippy Lentz, Devere's rickety little son."

"I close the cortrum whenever I take a notion so call ahead and make sure I'm not in a foul mood and lock dee doe and put a deppity in front of dee doe."

"Don't ebber git on mah bad side.   I be the cheef districk judge I'll assign myself to you as you judge and take a double bladded axe to yo damn lawsuit!  And if you is juss a witness in da lawsuit, da plantiff gone git screwed cause I'll chop it down like Joewdge Washington cherry tree and ain't a damn thing you can do about it me and Judge Yosie and Markie Shamburger and Baked Beans we done had ex partees and pretrial conferences about yo damn lawsuit.   Don't make no damn differmints if Chahzz Carecchia little ho done busted a hole in yo Ty Yotta.  Dass yo fawt!"