Re: Quotable Bio Material and Quotable Quotes

On Thursday, September 7, 2023 at 3:15:49 PM UTC-4, Jimmy knows crooked Sammie Ervin IV wrote:
> On Friday, September 1, 2023 at 1:43:30 PM UTC-4, Jimmy knows crooked Sammie Ervin IV wrote: 
> > Quotable 
> > 
> > Supreme Court Justice Anita Earls to Shyster Judge Eddie Clontz: "Eddie, Honey, you sexy ol' Cyclops, here is you're seecrit slap on the wrist so don't do that no more to any of my black brothers. MMMMkay? Now nobody has to know that you're a cereal killer of the law, but also a Beelovid Democrat which is todally understandabul and politicle. That how we like it. Polaticks roolz! 
> > Luv Yaz, Anita 
> > 
> > Stevie Cogburn (disgraced former clerk of superior court) -- Thank you for the encomiums, kisses blowed, and panegyricks and for drooling slurp all over me for gitting rid of dew process, jurry trial in snivel cases, and the rights of our unsavery adversarries that are not members of our party and fackshuns. I have substituded in there stead whiteout, likwid paper, forged judges signatewers, spolation by shreding official documints, crupptid microfish, kept hookers in the record rooms who knows how to purger thurselfs and write out false minutes in there cursive if needed, and injeenous ideas of shitcannery, cawmonness show triles, and forjury. To our enemas: How'd you like that broozing ride to your acquittle, and them panefull shiners? Was you battered, heh heh heh?? Did they throw you in a shit spladdered jail cell with overflowed stopped up tolliet and smear shit and fermented piss all over you, LOL! An' just before you was bonded out by your scurvy repuglickin frens? 
> > My moto: Videri quam esse. LOL!!! 
> > 
> > Sammie "the forger" Cathey : 'Bunkum is my faverite playground and the rufled black dress wif my custom sewed pocket pool pockitt my faverit raymint. Legislation from the bench, bench slaps, and bills of attainder from my exalted mushy-cheek-squat wuz my favorite innertainment. And I am delited to say that Bunkum learned me all the shitcannery I ever knowed.' 
> > 
> > Julie Kepple, the spoliatrix: You might beet the rap but you won't beet the ride. And if your going to cross-examine, which I do not perfer becawze it makes to many of our wimmen wif bad dadies like mine squerm, you WILL NOT ask leading questions they are unexceptable. That kind of hairassmint is stalking behavayer or even making eye contack with our battered wimmen plaintiffs. [Blink blink blink blink blink blinkety-blink.] 
> > 
> > Joshua Stein: Now I'm kinda wishing I hadn't taken that small a bribe from HCA. 
> > 
> > "Bribery R us." -- Joint statement of Eddie Clontz and Susan "Compulson is a defense!" Crotty 
> > 
> > Susan Crotty Clontz -- If your caught stealing, plead "compulson." I did and got to keep the money cause they excepted it as a disseaze. It is contagous, though. Ed caught it from me. And now he more compussive than me. He stick his burr head down in them files and compuss and compuss and compuss and drip snot all over the place. And if I so much as look at him in such a way as I am not compleatly humble he feels inslutted that what comes of compulson. 
> > 
> > Moe Ron Moore -- I'm depressed for being such a looser. I was an instistewton and the King of the Courthouse. I could have gone down in hisstry as Buncombe's finest prosecuter. Me and Stevie Cogburn (He has the best crimnal instinks) and some of the boys and girls in on this caper we worked up had a lot of fun. We was going to do a dirty skam on one of my old enemas, Larry we'll call him. We had him charged with cyberstalking wacky old femmist Marty Trackitt Grist. We was giving him a rough ride but wanted to make it rougher. And I had his lawer Keith "Dirty Shoes and laundry" Hanson in on the sting. Keith carried water and tails for us. Keith Hanson tride to git Larry to pleed guilty in front of Ol' Ratface judge Sam Cathey but he wuddent. So Cathey held a sovite styled Stalin show trile and found him guilty and made him pay a big wad of money and prohibition but no prison time. While Keith protested to Larry and tride his best to git Larry to go along with it, Larry blurted out "NOTICE OF APPEAL!" and said he'd take it to a jurry in MY 5th floor courtrum. Well what we later done was one of the finest forjeries you ever did seen. We figgered Larry wudd get tired of coming to Superior Court ever Monday week after week after week and would ask our feemail bulldog judge to send the case back to Districk Court so he could pay the fines and comply. So me and Steve and one of Steve's sleazy little trollups from down in the vaults altared Ratface's judgemint to read "6 months in prison. Or was that 40 days. Hell I can't remember. So when Larry got his wish for the case to go back to Districk Court he would have immeditly and to his great shock been throwed in jail. But Larry smelled a rat and to be truthful for a change I think somebody on our team may have had to much Cobra to drink and done a little too much talking and it got back to Larry. Next thing I knowed Larry run to the US Attorney and taddled on us. And so that was the end of our viscous little caper. And the funny thing about it was that Ratface Cathey had egg all over his face and was furous that he got blamed for the forgery. So he retired or they was going to charge him with a felony. Stevie's white-out and liquid paper had done the trick. 
> > 
> > Sammie Ervin iv, defeated Supreme Court Justice: Me and grandaddy and daddy was 3 germinations of verbacidal judges so I learned early on in jam sessions with them two verbacidal connivers was to figger out what you wanted to do, say, with an appealing stalker who probly wuzzent guilty but we wanted him with a bill of judiceral attainder hung around his neck like a rotting sea gull. So I turned my man-hating femmist clerks loose on him and they burnt him like a blastphemious witch and changed the meaning of his words in his narruhtive. And I signed the judgment but then made it private so nobody could cite it because it had some wildassed verbacital law in it. I rekon it was shenanergins like this that got me defeated and throwed off the Surpreem Court. 
> > __________________ 
> > 
> > From Secrets of the Asheville Judges. "Oy vey iz mir," sez Judge Joseph "Yutzy Slutzy" Knight, "if these walls could talk we'd all be in prison. To all you goy peasants who irratate me, Mossad is watching you: Ale tseyn zoln bay im aroysfaln, not eyner zol im blaybn oyf tsonveytung. My courtroom is 99% politics and 1% law. We don't have open courtrooms in my courthouse, and we reserve the right to kick anyone out and take pre-trial briefings from our operatchiks such as Honorable Shabad Agent Shamberg and other courthouse pettybags & dirtbags who can expose irritating peasants who come to disrupt our courtrooms and have the audacity to recite redundercies and demand antiquated jurry trials. So if you have an old Toyota with an engine wrecked by our respected car repair corperations or our pal Joe Carecchia with big long wrenches and percussing jackhammer power tools who bust a hole in your engine and you are elderly and not in our political faction, don't come running to us with your raggedy dockumints." 
> > 
> > Squinting like a rhesus monkey, Judge Clontz replies, Ah shit, Yudzsy, I bin in prison since I got married, bossed, ramsacked, henpecked, and then hornswoggled. She's coiled to strike, ever move I make." 
> > 
> > Joseph Chazzer Knicht -- I love to screw the gentile rabble in my courtroom. It's payback time. I'd love it if I could send the filthy lamanites, gentiles, descendants of Ham, descendants of Japheth, and any apostate Jew off to prison. Just chewing on them and seeing the fear in there eyes is not enough, unless I have the opportunaty of seperating them from there money. When they were digging in the dirt of an unknown island grapling for grubs, pig nuts, and potatoes, my fourbears was the sons of King Sollyman his very self. My grammaw 2895 times removed was Solly's concubine Sheba, so I am royal blood incarmate noble blooded and borned with superior intulleck and learned to talk formal literary Yiddish when I was 3 months old. 
> > 
> > Jennifer Pike: God put me here, uh disgrumbled lesbin, to screw poor people out of there last doller and use muh uhthorties to play politicks the dirdiest they ever been played since Larnce Brown, Chester Cogburn, and Weldon Weird. I love this life: the pare to tax is the pare to destroy. I'll take you're shanty and collect more taxes off of it than a mansion of Midland Drive, Vanderbilt Rd., or Westwood Rd. 
> >
> > Calvin Hill: "I hate the honkies. So I gits uh frill when I sticks it to them. If you is a honkie, at least be a Democrat honkie so I can screw you juss a liddle bit less, or take yo side against a muhfuggin Republickin. If you is not an exceptable honkie then I is gwine screw you evah way I can shoat of reversable errier. Dew process of oppertoonty to be herd is what i say it is and the constatuton is what i say it is and sewer service roolz. I is always reevizing dew process and the constatooting as a sheeld for muh pals and uh strait razer for muh enemas." 
> > 
> > Calvin Hill: I looks fah-wood to dah day mah chidrens and they chidrens has tittles of nobilaty lak da Congborns, da Thromburgs, and da town's biggist harryist buldykes. An' by da way when I wants to lock down the cote room dat my bizness and keep da doe locked and a deppity posted out in da haul, an' play bawl in da cote room, dat mah bizzniss. Same as wif tawssing a bawl around da coterum and over da heads of da specktatters dooring cote tossin' da ball wif mah faverit lawyers. Bring yo bawl glove to cote and a baseball. I bring a bawl and throw da fust pitch. 
> 
> 
> Ruhfud/MackDaoul County DA Teddie Bell: "We don't anser no dam questions about our bidness. Irregardless whether we artherize innersepting cellphone calls and textis by our targits we have a saccrid rite too lissen in wif sting grays if hanky panky is agoin on. Andfuthermore easy come easy go wif our emplyoyees in the DAs office which is bleeding heart interleckchuls or libel to leak our classafide bidness to the oposition. I am trying my dedlevel best to stock my office with psyopaths like myself who do not let there conscients or scrupples get in the way of our bidness of stricked law enfarcement. And that mean anyone hanging out in my back yard making pichurs of my swimming pool, calculiating my net worth, or counting the gables on my new 10,000 sqair foot palace in Mackdaoul Caounty."

There's that werd agin... irregardless.