Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Twenty-Four

> HarryLime wrote:
> 
>> NancyGene wrote:
>> 
>>> Cujo DeSockpuppet wrote:
>>> [email protected] (NancyGene) wrote in
>>> news:[email protected]:
>>> 
>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> George J. Dance wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka
>>>> One Small Voice, etc. wrote: [snip]
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> DISCLAIMER - "This isn't history, Donkey, but folklore. It's the
>>>> stories that have grown up regarding the members of AAPC over the
>>>> years. They may or may not be entirely true -- THEY MAY NOT EVEN
>>>> BE TRUE AT ALL." (Emphasis added) - MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael
>>>> Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka One Small Voice, etc., on his
>>>> "A.A.P.C. Folklore" series.
>>>> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=632244559&start=120
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Practically all of the information contained in the folklore cited
>>>> above can be confirmed by Will Donkey's posts, Will Donkey's
>>>> autobiographical notes (posted on G.J. Dunce's wiki pages, or in
>>>> public records.
>>>> 
>>>> There is additional folklore about their relationship (as in Will's
>>>> pimping Kathy out for tacos), but that appears to be purely a
>>>> matter of conjecture predicated upon Kathy's abandoning her
>>>> children, pretending to be dead, and planning to establish a new
>>>> life for herself in Texas under an assumed name.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> One of the reasons why so much lore has arisen regarding Kathy's
>>>> life, is that the dates and timelines change drastically regarding
>>>> her story every time Will Dockery retells it.
>>>> 
>>>> On top of this, the idea that a young mother would leave her toddler
>>>> with her parents, and spend between 1 - 3 months (depending on which
>>>> version of the story one reads) in a self-designed witness
>>>> protection program from her husband makes one wonder just what Will
>>>> Dockery had been doing to her at the time.
>>>> 
>>>> Her parents appeared to be aware of what was going on, but refused
>>>> to tell Will anything, and the local police attempted to make Will
>>>> think that she was dead.
>>>> 
>>>> According to Will, she simply didn't come home from her job as a
>>>> waitress one night.  He "looked all over" for several hours, then
>>>> proceeded to get drunk, stoned, and to engage in sex with the local
>>>> sl*ts.  Eventually, he received word from a sanitarium that she'd
>>>> checked herself in at Will's expense.
>>>> 
>>>> Since Will often mentions that he enjoys the services of "ladies of
>>>> the evening," a story arose that he was pimping Kathy out for taco
>>>> change.  In some of the more lurid versions of this folk tale, he
>>>> pimped young Clay out as well.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Kathy finally decided to end the marriage when Clay found a Donkey
>>>> poem and asked his mother if Dad really at a cat.  It turns out that
>>>> Will had been writing poems about his sexual liaisons with his
>>>> co-workers and self-published them in a chapbook.
>>>> 
>>>> According to one story by Will Donkey, Kathy wasn't mad that he
>>>> cheated on her, but that he'd performed oral sex on the co-worker
>>>> while she was driving a pizza delivery car -- but had always refused
>>>> to do it with Kathy.
>>>> 
>>>> Either way, the marriage ended for good.
>>>> 
>>>> Kathy remarried again, and Will spent his Christmases peeking in her
>>>> living room to see the presents underneath the tree.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> That is a dispiriting tale (tail?).  And Will Donkey, after Kathy's
>>>> death, started to drag her corpse around Shitholeville and on the "You
>>>> might be from Shitholeville if" website.  He still drags her,
>>>> continually posting her picture and calling her his late wife, just
>>>> for sympathy.  People think that Will is a grieving widower, and Will
>>>> Donkey accepts their condolences with a few ceremonial sniffs.
>>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> The "Corpse-Dragging Douchebag" ought to be part of AAPC Folklore.
>>> 
>>> What say ye?
>>> 
>>> 
>>> --
>>> "I've known for over a year that this guy is the assassin of the Usenet
>>> poetry community. When I first arrived, I thought he was keeping the
>>> lights on in a dead group by reposting from archives. I soon realized
>>> that he was just endlessly reposting his own stuff, that he had killed
>>> the group by flooding it, and that most of the people he called
>>> "trolls" were actually the members of the group.
>>> I've joined the crowd. I'm done trying to work with him and speak reason
>>> to him. It's exhausting and pointless." - Little Willie Douchebag gets
>>> another asskicking from The One True Melissa
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Yes, that is a highlight of the Shitholeville folklore.  Donkey dragged so many corpses that he made a new road through the town.
> 
> 
> One of the reasons Donkey loves corpse-dragging, is that he can pretend that he and the deceased were friends without fear of being contradicted by them.



Yes, and most of them wanted to shoot Will Donkey.  Lady K hated the Donkey's guts and wanted nothing to do with him, yet he drags her around like she was a possession he lost. 


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