Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Eleven

> NancyGene wrote:
> 
>> Cujo DeSockpuppet wrote:
>> [email protected] (HarryLime) wrote
>> in news:[email protected]:
>> 
>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>> George J. Dance wrote:
>>> 
>>> MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka
>>> One Small Voice, etc. wrote: [snip]
>>> 
>>> 
>>> DISCLAIMER - "This isn't history, Donkey, but folklore. It's the
>>> stories that have grown up regarding the members of AAPC over the
>>> years. They may or may not be entirely true -- THEY MAY NOT EVEN
>>> BE TRUE AT ALL." (Emphasis added) - MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael
>>> Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka One Small Voice, etc., on his
>>> "A.A.P.C. Folklore" series.
>>> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=632244559&start=120
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> The infamous Steak Dinner story is well-documented via AAPC posts.
>>> 
>>> Here's the historically documented version:
>>> 
>>> Will Donkey introduces his friend, George Sulzbach to the group.
>>> George proceeds to ingratiate himself to all and sundry by making
>>> complimentary, one-word exclamations after everyone's posts.
>>> 
>>> Approximately, one week later, Will announces to the group that
>>> George is about to be evicted from his trailer. George had been in
>>> an automobile accident a year earlier, which left him unable to
>>> work.  He was waiting on a check from the Veteran's Administration
>>> (the receipt of which he was expecting hourly), but his landlord
>>> was refusing to wait.  Will then wrung his hands in despair and
>>> stated that he didn't know what to do.
>>> 
>>> Jim Senetto, otoh, did know what to do.  He took action.  He
>>> offered to send George $50 to tide his landlord over until the
>>> check arrived.
>>> 
>>> Will asked him to send the money in cash (as George no longer had a
>>> bank account) and to send the cash to... Will Donkey  (as George,
>>> being evicted, might not have a mailing address by the time the
>>> cash arrived).  Jim readily complied.  Will asked Jim to let him
>>> know when the cash was being sent so that he could know when to
>>> check his p.o. box.
>>> 
>>> When Jim told Will that the cash was in the mail, Will promptly did
>>> a 180, and informed Jim that the cash wouldn't help the situation,
>>> as the landlord had been fed up with George's long overdue rent
>>> payments.  He then warned Jim that George would probably blow the
>>> money on booze, drugs, and w*ores.
>>> 
>>> Jim then asked Will to be in charge of the money, and to see that
>>> it was spent wisely on food and supplies that a homeless person
>>> might need to survive.  Will told him that George gets all of the
>>> food he needs from food stamps and the local Safe House, and that
>>> Georgia nights are rarely cold enough for a man to require a
>>> blanket.
>>> 
>>> When the money arrived, Will called George (via Obama phone) and
>>> told him that he'd just received some money from Jim, and invited
>>> George to join him and Brother Dave for steak dinners at a local
>>> eatery.  Will's communication to George made it decidedly unclear
>>> as to whether George knew that the $50 had been intended for him.
>>> 
>>> The following day, Will emailed Jim and informed him that his $50
>>> had been well spent -- on a steak dinner for three.
>>> 
>>> Jim was, understandably, less than thrilled with this news.
>>> 
>>> A day or so later (Will insists that it was several days), Will
>>> posted a disturbing story about a "maniac" attacking him and
>>> Brother Dave with a metal rod, hurting Will's elbow, and leaving
>>> Dave's head bloodied and bruised.  Dave died two years later,
>>> possibly as a result of the injuries he'd received that night.
>>> 
>>> The following day, Will identified the "maniac" as having been
>>> George.
>>> 
>>> It was theorized that George had seen some of the AAPC posts,
>>> wherein Jim spoke of having sent the money *for* George, and
>>> realizing that Will had bilked him out of the $50, attacked the
>>> Dockery brothers in an angry fit of revenge.
>>> 
>>> The following weeks saw Jim demanding that Will amend for the
>>> misappropriation of George's relief money by donating the same
>>> amount to a worthy charity.  Will then wrote a check to his own
>>> daughter for $50, but this appeared to be another scam.  It was
>>> then decided that Will donate the money to an animal shelter
>>> supported by Kevin Fries -- which more or less resolved the
>>> situation.
>>> 
>>> Both Will and George claimed that they'd never asked for any money,
>>> and that they had the right to spend Jim's money any way they
>>> damned well pleased.  Nor did either of them ever thank, or
>>> apologize to, Jim.
>>> 
>>> The hourly-expected check from the Veteran's Administration never
>>> arrived.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Will's excuse for using the money to buy a steak dinner for three
>>> (and I quote):
>>> 
>>> "Well, knowing Sulzbach as I do, I was pleasantly surprised he
>>> decided to spend the money on something other than booze and drugs.
>>> Or beer, wine, weed or hookers..."
>>> 
>>> 
>>> It's been a while since our perpetually unemployed Donkey has been
>>> able to afford a McSteak dinner -- not since DirtNap Daves Disability
>>> checks stopped coming in.
>>> 
>>> Sarah Donkeytits is said to be starting a GoFundMe drive to help Will
>>> get his steak.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> OTOH, Will Donkey is probably no longer able to eat steak anymore.
>>> His few remaining teeth are twisted and sticking out at weird angles.
>>> A steak dinner would most likely cost him the few teeth he still has
>>> left.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> View the attachments for this post at:
>>> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709698041#709698041
>>> 
>> 
>> 
>> DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!! DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!!
>> DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!! DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!!
>> DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!! DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!!
>> DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!! DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!!
>> 
>> Douchebag!
>> 
>> --
>> "I've known for over a year that this guy is the assassin of the Usenet
>> poetry community. When I first arrived, I thought he was keeping the
>> lights on in a dead group by reposting from archives. I soon realized
>> that he was just endlessly reposting his own stuff, that he had killed
>> the group by flooding it, and that most of the people he called
>> "trolls" were actually the members of the group.
>> I've joined the crowd. I'm done trying to work with him and speak reason
>> to him. It's exhausting and pointless." - Little Willie Douchebag gets
>> another asskicking from The One True Melissa
> 
> 
> 
> Dental health = heart health, so the Donkey doesn't have long anyway.  Steak dinners are for the living.




As long as he can gum his way through a stack of waffles, he's happy. 


This response appears in the discussion at:
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709196654#709196654

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