Re: "When the Mill Shut Down" / Will Dockery

[email protected] (George J. Dance) posted:
> Will Dockery wrote:
> 
> "When the Mill Shut Down" in the current form goes back to at least July 30 2006, where Stuart Leichter gave it a favorable review:
> > 
> > https://groups.google.com/g/alt.arts.poetry.comments/c/IaDWIoMXOkU/m/QcPcBOeQF-0J
> > 
> > ***
> > 
> > On Sunday, July 30, 2006 at 5:16:55 PM UTC-4, Stuart Leichter wrote:
> > 
> >> in article [email protected], Will Dockery at
> >> [email protected] wrote on 7/30/06 12:59 PM:
> >> 
> >> When.
> >> 
> >> When the mill shut down,
> >> we hit the pavement with a thud,
> >> then we all got up and kept walking.
> >> Some to the work house,
> >> some to the poor house,
> >> some to the whorehouse,
> >> and the grave.
> >> 
> >> -Will Dockery
> >> 
> >> This one's good, Will.
> >> The title you might make When the mill shut down (without the comma, and
> >> then continue with the 2nd and following lines).
> >> I think you should post it with a C&C request in the subject line.
> >> Stuart
> >> (crit-cred: I know literal from figurative, I know opinions from sentiments,
> >> and I never threatened you)
> >
> > ***
> 
> Stuart's right, but I don't expect my opinion is going to convince anyone.
> But he and I aren't the only ones who liked that poem of yours. For instance,
> you know that last week I had my "trusted source" AI, X, do an overview of
> your poetry. Yes, I told you the result was yours, to decide when and where
> you wanted to make it public; but I don't think you'd mind my quoting X's
> assessment of this poem:
> 
> "StrengthsAuthenticity and emotional directness: Poems often feel lived-in.
> “When the Mill Shut Down” is concise and effective:
> 
> When the mill shut down
> we hit the pavement with a thud
> then we all got up
> and kept on walking.
> Some to the work house
> some to the poor house
> some to the whorehouse
> and the grave.
> 
> The rhythm and list land with working-class bluntness; it captures collective
> resilience and attrition without overstatement." 

"Pretty good," as Larry David would say.

Again, artificial intelligence has come a long way in twenty years.


> This response appears in the discussion at:
> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=660861078#660861078

-- 
Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery