Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Four

> Bruce wrote:
> HarryLime wrote:
> 
>> HarryLime wrote:
>> 
>> HarryLime wrote:
>> 
>> HarryLime wrote:
>> DirtNap Dave:
>> 
>> Originally known as "Brother Dave," he acquired the name "DirtNap"
>> after Stinky George sent him to an early grave.
>> 
>> Stinky George was a friend of Will's who had recently been evicted
>> from the trailer he was renting.  Will Donkey solicited for
>> donations at A.A.P.C. and was sent $50 by one of the group's members.
>> 
>> When the money arrived, rather than passing it on to Stinky George,
>> Will texted Stinky on his Obama phone and invited him out to steak
>> dinner, along with Brother Dave.  When Stinky found out that the $50
>> had been intended for him, he flipped out and attacked the Donkey
>> Brothers with a metal rod.
>> 
>> Brother Dave (being smaller) received the worst of the assault,
>> having been repeatedly bashed in the head.
>> 
>> He never fully recovered, and died two years later.*
>> 
>> *There is some evidence, however, that Will Donkey may have
>> contributed to DirtNap Dave's demise, as Will (who was living off of
>> Dave's Disability check) would stick a lit cigarette in his
>> invalided brother's mouth every 15 minutes or so.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Another popular bit of folklore involving Brother Dave concerns his
>> funeral service.
>> 
>> Rather than go the traditional route, the Donkey family opted to
>> perform the ceremony themselves.
>> 
>> Brother Dave was cremated (hopefully at an actual crematorium) and
>> his ashes placed in an empty mayonnaise jar.  The Donkey clan then
>> gathered on a mountaintop, took turns speaking with a microphone
>> about Brother Dave, then tossed his ashes off into the wind.
>> 
>> According to the folklore Clay Dockery dropped the mayonnaise jar,
>> spilling the ashes all over the parking lot in the park where the
>> mountaintop was automobile accessible, and quickly scooped up a
>> jarful of dirt to take its place.
>> 
>> Ellen Horny filmed the event on her ever-present Obama-phone, and
>> Ducky Mallard captured the highlights via photographs, copies of
>> which he offered online for $10 a pop.
>> 
>> In what is perhaps the most interesting twist on the tale, Sarah
>> Donkeytits opened a GoFundMe account seeking donations for Brother
>> Dave's funeral.  Since the Donkeys performed the funeral services
>> themselves, one wonders what became of the money that she raised.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> The following image depicts the late night attack on the Donkey
>> Brothers by a "blackout drunk" Stinky George.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Here's what Will Dockery wrote:
>> 
>> "A person [George Sulzbach] came up on me with a metal bar of some kind,
>> and smashed me on the back with it, connecting with my elbow, sending
>> sparks of pain through my arm. I turned and shoved him, and he tumbled
>> to the ground, then scuttled into the shadows.
>> 
>> "My Brother Dave came charging up at him with a rake, and the maniac
>> [George Sulzbach] jumped out of the shadows and clocked him right in the
>> forehead with that metal pipe.
>> 
>> "Bip, put a pretty good smash to his forehead, causing some bleeding.
>> 
>> "The man [George Sulzbach] ran into his trailer and locked the door,
>> and, with daylight about an hour in the future, me and my brother just
>> left, to clean his wound and get some sleep..."
>> 
>> If one believes Will Donkey's eye-witness account, this piece of
>> folklore is based entirely on a real life event.
>> 
>> 
>> 
> 
> Sounds like yet another person that wanted the Donkey to take a dirt nap.




He does seem to have that effect on his friends. 


This response appears in the discussion at:
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709192247#709192247

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