paxil

theres no really good reason to stick around - we live in hell
objectively - so the next best thing is to take something to rewire your
brain to alienate you enough so you dont chronically think of death

i did that and it actually worked pretty well, severe depression is
agonizingly painful

but lately even with max dose paxil i can't stop thinking about it. im
not specifically in pain in the same way, just can't come up with an
answer about what it's all for

probably a bad sign

cheers