Poems: 151120 - November 15th, 2020

141120A
-----------=20

I wait for you=20
on a far edge=20
of a blue sky=20
chill as autumn=20
being made up=20
of all longings.=20

You were absent
during the best=20
of passing time
failing to appear=20
from a crowd
of wishful.=20

How I wish=20
you had been there
at tournaments=20
of stray eyes
to hear the passing=20
of sentences.=20

There was a time
of poetry=20
being thought=20
a seduction=20
to those considered
being as lovely.=20

We were forced
to deny it all=20
leaving no more=20
than the cock=20
that crows=20
at a harsh light.=20

Those who remember
anything at all
are all selective=20
about remembering=20
and forgetting
what played out.=20

And will you be
anything to me=20
beyond an instance=20
of another loss=20
serving as reminders
of space between words.=20

Between worlds=20
as between words=20
and your world=20
seems too distant=20
from the words=20
I am stranded upon.=20

------------------------=20

141120B
----------- =20

Hard blue=20
under a solar strafe=20
fly past day=20
dipping into sorry=20
states of dreadful
sonic pressures.=20

Some heard to say
do not want to=20
be living that way
squeezed out
into a a tall glass=20
of bitter.=20

Peel back the edge
of an envelope=20
only to find out=20
someone else won=20
whatever it was=20
and didn't say.=20

A love letter=20
to some other
could be something=20
to nearly anyone=20
done tabloid style=20
to keep well away.=20

By arrangement=20
in a grand conspiracy=20
of a drop and kick
into the end zone
as to no one's game=20
but everyone watching.=20

Keep clear
and do not cross=20
entry forbidden=20
and you are another=20
restricted area=20
for authorized access.=20

Our social profiles=20
never really match=20
on enough points=20
to avoid the censors=20
blackening us out=20
from any connection.=20

Through hardships=20
to the stars=20
was never applicable=20
to whatever happened
to two carbon lumps
labelled You and I.=20

----------------------=20

141120C
-----------=20

If it showed any promise
of actually being pleasant=20
it would be over=20
before it ever began=20
and so much faster=20
if it seemed to be polite.=20

The people we see=20
in passing through=20
lure our sadness=20
by making an impression=20
that never reappears=20
in any intimate contexts.=20

That exotic species=20
of rare beings=20
that act as stimulus=20
to an implicit lack=20
of any real satisfaction=20
among factual invites.=20

High class burlesque=20
at the big tease
that takes nothing off=20
while music plays out
distant cosmic sounds
of background radiation.=20

A mind held at verge=20
of daily event horizons=20
sliding under cover=20
back into black holes
of serialized nightmare=20
random episodes.

Make the best of it=20
the way a deer does=20
when it stares in=20
to oncoming headlights =20
frozen into moments=20
of infantile noise.=20

We never really forget=20
those first lessons=20
when an ocean streams=20
out from our own eyes=20
and everything submerges=20
under a surface of pain.=20

The persistent affliction=20
of forever wanting=20
what we can never have=20
killing our appetites=20
as to the crumbs and bones=20
that we tend to be fed.=20

We pretend sufficiency=20
of giving and receiving=20
scraps of information=20
that become instalments=20
paid out digital jig saw=20
pieces of puzzle.=20

The incomplete pictures=20
of specious lacunae=20
being read as ciphers=20
concealing secrets=20
of an open passage=20
rumoured to Happiness.=20

That place in a state
we are led to believe
was never visited=20
in endless searching
for something we were
but never sure of.=20

A romantic nature taken
as a sign of immaturity=20
declared nothing more
than misguided=20
misspent sacrifice=20
to wrong gods.=20

When will we conduct=20
candlelit vigils=20
for what has become=20
of romance=20
in this brave new world=20
of hard choices.=20

-------------------   =20

141120D
-----------=20

No message=20
on any line
and no letter=20
in any mail box.

There are formalities=20
needing attention=20
on a regular basis=20
and in a timely way.=20

You never called=20
but that was to teach me
there is no point=20
in waiting. =20

Any emotional bullet
of the same calibre=20
can be dropped in=20
to the same breach.=20

Then fired out=20
across that void=20
of terminal velocities
into self made targets.=20

We learn early=20
and tend to stay late=20
in a false hope=20
we won't hurt ourselves.=20

The same formulations
apply to most anything=20
that we touch=20
or enter into.=20

The powder is the same
no matter what=20
we believe about it=20
when it drives a bargain.=20

One always drops=20
but tries to remain=20
as malleable as a piece=20
of  grey lead.

The soft metal child
made out of being=20
something deadlier=20
than what shaped it.=20

Everyone learning=20
whatever is soft=20
dies in the flesh=20
after penetration.=20

---------------------=20

141120E
-----------=20

Our gatherings=20
were only dreamt=20
in an imagined land=20
of remaining possible.=20

Handed a few lines=20
on the way out
to hither, thither=20
and yon.=20

The crowd dispersed=20
having lost a sense=20
of why they had failed\
to come around.=20

Any channel change
a narrowed bandwidth
failed to tune in=20
to required frequencies.=20

Chatter is a silence=20
covering a spectrum=20
of all impossibilities=20
with cruel interference.=20

We cannot tune in=20
to each other =20
as to would be lives=20
stored in tiny boxes.=20

Screen image clones
and copied bits=20
of stale text=20
message betrayals.=20

The numbers games=20
have all changed
to location unlisted
evading all surprise.=20

I disregard every=20
that speaks of you=20
assuming nothing=20
is a shade of truth.=20

Some are taken in
to the gambling debts
of a distanced wealthy =20
and you might be one.=20

The one to some
far away only
but I am too spent=20
for what you want.=20

To you it is nothing=20
but the wind and rain=20
hitting on bitter times
of a dying out.=20

I thought it might=20
end better than that=20
but it never does=20
whatever I want it to.=20
=20
-------------------------=20

151120A
------------=20

Pain is the reminder=20
that there is something left
of what we used to say=20
about realities.=20

That the flesh has not=20
washed away=20
leaving sharp litanies=20
of vague implication.=20

A hard doctrine=20
of continual attrition=20
until no one is left=20
on any of the guest lists.=20

That was not the plan=20
for any divided part
seemed forever fills
hollows with formality.=20

Closer than that=20
has that other meaning=20
of uglier scenes=20
with the wrong people.=20

I have given it up=20
applauding the Moon=20
while it hides its face=20
in regular embarrassment.=20

You did not let me in=20
to being on one side=20
or the other of you=20
comforting the enemy.=20

I hide myself away=20
having been promoted=20
to the unwanted list=20
as to common desires.=20

---------------------------    =20

Make of it what you will, and may it darken your life because only darkness=
 is ultimately solid, and only darkness is ultimately real. Everything else=
 is the future of various illusions. It is only where you have some darknes=
s that you in fact are as anything at all.