Poems: 290321 - March 29th, 2021

260321A
----------- =20

Going forward=20
with falling back=20
wish we could=20
go round again.=20

Turn of a wheel
that tears apart=20
what we were=20
from could not be.=20

What is this=20
and what are we=20
in the emptiness=20
of all our choosing.=20

The lonely fight=20
that must be fought
fights the invisible
until we die from it.

Mere ghosts=20
of any chance=20
they took away=20
to prove they could.=20

After that it matters
that it does not matter
to anyone anymore=20
but no more than that.=20

-------------------------

260321B
-----------=20

The Sun extorts=20
green from the earth=20
following the rain
fallen into luscious.=20

It washed out=20
all the stray colours=20
hung from the names
of bottled up soldiers. =20

I did the forbidden
looking for someone=20
everywhere I went
but not knowing anyone. =20

Parties and faces=20
have faded out=20
along with grade school
sticks and stones.=20

There is no purpose=20
there is no golden mean =20
common is boring=20
and silence is over rated.=20

If we really could=20
cut away cliche chains=20
made to bind us=20
to no more than dreams.=20

They talked of you=20
in meaningless terms=20
creating illusions
of past touches future.=20

They are archaeologists=20
picking at bits of dirt=20
caught among the fossils
of convoluted brain.=20

They said I was rock solid
as an excuse=20
for the hammer and chisel
chiselling it all away.=20

We never touched=20
and it is always too late=20
being whatever is left
after the rip cord fails.=20

The choice of colour=20
never really mattered=20
when nothing opened up=20
hooked on a question mark.=20

It is make believe talk
filling up story time=20
white rabbit skins
stroking childish ears.=20

Our pelts being traded=20
and yours worth something=20
while mine was whipped=20
into worthless.=20

A cut away view=20
of all the inside workings=20
of ritual taxonomies=20
classifying perpetual loss.=20

We wanted to leave
something so unpleasant=20
but you never called=20
and you never wrote.=20

The word always given
you had better options
but no one ever knows
what that really means.=20

I needed to find cures
for all of my curiosity=20
because it makes no difference
what becomes of us.=20

We were insignificant=20
and I had forgotten=20
the entire matter=20
in the details following.=20

----------------------------- =20

260321C
------------ =20

If you shoot yourself=20
in the foot=20
you can be someone=20
but sometimes=20
there are other ways=20
if you are lucky=20
and chance a blessing.=20

End at limping along=20
where it is all nothing=20
other than charity
poking at your soul=20
until you cannot help=20
but bite the hand=20
that feeds you.=20

Should eat something=20
in the realization=20
appetites are confused=20
by what is near
and what is far away
from any immediate=20
points of view.

Something being left
on the doorstep=20
brings a sense of purpose=20
under its wraps=20
and in the severity=20
of the instructions=20
inside a package.=20

That is how far we go
but no further=20
on this or any day=20
imagining flowers grieving=20
what becomes of us=20
midst of preparations=20
endlessly made.=20

Prettied up the room
as if it were a future=20
where you are comfortable
with the arrangements=20
among things that matter=20
dusting other finger prints
from the surfaces.=20

It has been a long time=20
and it makes me afraid
of forever=20
no matter how it appears
in various disguises=20
because it always takes
without really giving.=20

--------------------------=20

260321D
------------

Searching the edges=20
of the island=20
where thoughts dwell
stranded and distant=20
from regular shipping lanes
and tourist traffic.=20

Some believing=20
the whole world is=20
only shipping lanes
and tourist traffic=20
addictive as junk
in the veins of junkies.=20

The storms they sent=20
maintained desolation=20
mostly barren=20
and half truths=20
cobbled together=20
as chanced salvages.=20

There is no shelter=20
from the storm=20
no matter where=20
you chance to hide=20
from its ravaging=20
caverns of mind.=20

Nothing much
beyond sparse episodes=20
of whatever it was
got washed up=20
onto shorelines=20
of broken off dialogues.=20

No one really believed
any of the pitches=20
no matter where=20
they chanced to land=20
but that too is a style=20
in contemporary humour.=20

In any case
there were outcomes
that were never good=20
when it all boiled down
to the same competition
over something else.=20

A  sea of mermaids
all turning away=20
to different desires=20
preferring men=20
fallen overboard=20
from ships of state.=20

No one stops here
along routines=20
in growing fear=20
of coming away
from firm moorings
passed off as happiness.=20

The last party=20
was a long time ago=20
and everything happened
to shorten guest lists=20
down to nothing except
conflicts of interest.=20

Crash dived=20
into the deep blues=20
infinite pain=20
of the extreme lonely
but not lonely=20
for the likes of you.=20

Pick and choose=20
would be better=20
but it only works=20
for the chosen=20
who don't ever call
your number.=20

------------------------=20

290321A
------------=20

Waited too long=20
but never waited=20
long enough=20
and never got to live
in between=20
the one side=20
closing in=20
on the other.

It takes forever=20
then some more=20
bitter exchanges
traded away=20
in back and forth=20
never mounting=20
near to enough
to being anything.=20

Crammed tight =20
careful watch=20
spaces of never
mind the pressure=20
placed fools
under the mighty=20
comes out squeezed
to nothing.=20

Revolting mix
into digital canals=20
mutating vibrato=20
of social decay=20
goes eternal smiles=20
pasted on empty
promissory notes =20
dreaming privacy.=20

Chilled feelings=20
sweating it out=20
in the drench=20
morbidity toned=20
cull of herd=20
never a chance=20
at the long=20
and short of it.

Sounds of power=20
tools carving away
pieces of sunlight=20
to be boxed=20
and sold off=20
in shadowy places=20
out of plain sight=20
past blind corners.=20

Mad dash=20
race around=20
the cracked landscape=20
shatter pot craze=20
vessels of passage=20
endlessly repeating=20
jerk dance=20
routine moves.=20

Mass purge=20
along the line=20
stretched to snap=20
push me=20
and pull you=20
to breaking stride
with the chatter=20
of executioners.=20

Nothing came near
other than the dead
by their own hand
or by marriage=20
partings of veils=20
osculum est mortis
of the possessed=20
and the incestuous.=20

Ghouls lurk
threatening to peel=20
everything away
down to whitening=20
fundamentals=20
of bared bone=20
sucked marrow=20
from love lives.=20

Gather our fears=20
into bulging sacks=20
to drag around=20
the stations=20
of abandonment=20
in hopes of rebuilding=20
something personal=20
but time grows short.=20

We cannot win back
that or any other=20
vision of =E2=80=9CJerusalem=E2=80=9D
in all the dying to
and the dying from=20
reruns of near death
simulated experiences
approaching reality.=20

There are doors=20
opening and closing=20
at the mouths of ovens
condemning all flesh
as no more
than its corruption=20
making ashen winged=20
legions of angels.

All I had wanted=20
was the sort of love=20
dwells as passions
near to beauty
while the skin remains
a crude instrument=20
played softly=20
in dark places.=20

------------------  =20

Yes, they are very noir. As a poet I keep trying to kill the lie in my voic=
e, but it becomes a constant battle. The battle is so easily thwarted by th=
e typical human desire to be "popular" rather than honest in terms of one's=
 words.  The deeply inculcated fear being in everyone that says so repeated=
ly that we will never get whatever it is we really want, if we kill the lie=
 in our voices. It takes immense, no doubt foolish, courage to keep killing=
 that lie.