Poems: 080821 - August 8th, 2021

060821A
-----------=20

Crying the tears=20
that matter=20
to no one ever=20
except yourself.=20

You're the exception=20
stared blank turned
inside and out=20
arranged backward.=20

What we hide=20
from the public=20
at gatherings
that we don't have.

In that bunch=20
a random pull
up from the roots=20
and cut short.=20

Friendly people=20
never tell the truth
or what was seen
on the labels.=20

They leave you=20
finding your own=20
and a way out=20
sense of not being.=20

Can't shoot straight
gone out of range
scattershot possibility
of misplaced feeling.=20

There is no one
to dance with=20
in the rain=20
and then it's gone.=20

---------------------- =20

070821A
------------=20

It piles up now
in that almost never=20
getting done=20
sense of being done=20
as to done out=20
and done in=20
until it all feels=20
the same done for.=20

Getting done=20
by someone=20
you don't know=20
who has done you
but you are done
and you know=20
you are done
in the worst ways.=20

They want you=20
finished at doing=20
and done for
in all those ways
you can finish up
at a sense of being=20
finished right off=20
and up ended.=20

You offered=20
but were declined=20
in impolite ways
being made=20
feeling unwelcome=20
at take a hint
then cancel out
your memberships.=20

Only on paper=20
parts of  listings=20
compiled stray=20
names remaining=20
outside real
network elements
and you pay twice
for the privilege. =20

You are no more=20
any real part=20
of the master plan
and your marginalia
not wanted edges
far side of any=20
secret scenes of after
hostile take overs.=20

You are relieved
into forever states=20
of tensions=20
finishing you=20
with redirects=20
you cannot follow=20
leaving you=20
so finished off.=20

------------------=20

070821B
-----------=20

The nausea=20
knowing no illness
reminds you=20
about all the parts=20
thrown together=20
becoming unfortunate=20
instances of anatomy.=20

Your bad record=20
as to vomiting=20
several times a day
in full public view
stands opposite=20
to glossolalia=20
and angel tongues.

You picked=20
a wrong language
but it is too late=20
trying to change=20
and true romance
endings force fed
your own words.=20

Impoverished tell
scanty worded=20
abridged sources=20
turned dispassion
gunshot punctuation
of command lines=20
screen entered.=20

Naturally avoiding=20
fish mongers=20
rice grain swells=20
and endangerment=20
on church steps
sake of rights=20
and never had.=20

People who know
what to say=20
are avoiding you=20
shutting you  in
shutting you down
closing you up
like a banned book.=20

No one reads you
the way it is=20
or was meant
but take your time
finding nothing
you really need
or actually want.=20

Extinct certainty
before the beginning=20
getting used
at whatever never
ever wanted=20
never could choose=20
to really.

Scrubbed missions=20
shelved ideas
give long statements=20
never to be taken
into account=20
crossing random
pain thresholds.=20

Assessors come
only to say
you have nothing=20
to offer leaving
offerings of better
luck fictions about
next lifetimes.

Seeing them out=20
past tea and biscuits
resemble mummified=20
lady fingers left
prior visitors having
snapped off
years ago.=20

Nothing returns=20
but push away=20
up to you could=20
distrust something=20
beyond a door=20
marked public=20
and relations.

Don't believe=20
in lead astray=20
but stand accused=20
at distrusted=20
failed at find a god
willing to contract=20
being on side.=20

Armies of lawyers
leave the room=20
shredding legal briefs
expired past=20
best before dates
so the judge levies
a largest fine.=20

No one can pay=20
that much=20
for a new identity
comes complete with
new friends handy=20
knowledge base=20
and reference guide.=20

Nagging desires
for new skins=20
crawled into just
girl knows the like
invoke the godloss
game of flats
at Dianic attraction.=20

Lithe sprite=20
extended greeting
the pastoral waif=20
takes in to every=20
her confidence=20
a pure blend
paired feminine.=20

Sensual cure=20
long linger comes
away intra malaise=20
leaving hard things
with harder ways
from poverty thrusts
a dirty recompense.=20

Adds something=20
to be despised =20
for claw reach=20
manipulators run
the labour gangs
cripple landscapes
bared Brutalism.=20

Stacks of block
smell diapers=20
and bleach=20
knock it down
and knock it up=20
play house=20
live and learns.=20

Everything bruises
on the insides=20
wrapped up=20
birth and death=20
moments of squeeze=20
through something
caught between.

Everyone loses=20
any and all interest
sing along=20
the shag chorus=20
=E2=80=9Cthem dry bones=E2=80=9D=20
word being out=20
on street corners.=20
=20
Street corner girls
with egg shell eyes
run hands=20
through hair nests
jerking lures
spasm headed
lurching fish lines.

What was milked=20
gone sour=20
fracturing bloodshot=20
white surfaces=20
destroying the mesh
of the afternoons=20
along glitter tracks.=20

Used to be=20
something pretty
bang ends
every  chooses
various habits=20
reward pointed
prayer answers.=20

Anything good
comes out of it=20
comes from the blue
to the condemned=20
wander through
at never know=20
who, if, or when.=20

---------------------=20

070821C
------------=20

Not wanting to be=20
always so very alone
makes us lonelier=20
leaving empty places
staring back=20
making accusations=20
to which we prepare=20
defence arguments
that are cross examined.=20

It always breaks down=20
in the questioning=20
of what might have been=20
done very differently=20
while trying to recollect
how it used to be done
by anyone we once knew
in a search for clues
to aid the investigation.=20

We want to cooperate=20
in our own best interests
never withholding=20
the facts of the evening=20
trying to fill in gaps=20
giving a complete account
start to finish just in case
we missed something=20
makes any difference.=20

There must be something=20
we were not good at=20
emptied the space
between visits=20
and ghosts of visits=20
lingering in the air
long after the interval
and over thinking=20
what went wrong.=20
=20
It simply never was=20
the way it happens=20
in the movies=20
and on television
so we know=20
it did not go well=20
in our pilot episode=20
being pulled=20
from the lineup.=20

--------------------

080821A
------------=20

Remembering what
freedom there was=20
when someone gave=20
without a show and tell
that makes innocence=20
into market wares.=20

It never is anymore=20
and don't really know=20
Black Russian nights=20
break through happenings=20
sweeps away broken=20
sake of sweet tastes.=20

Wishing brokenness
could still dance=20
but dances no more
prisoner jabs and pokes=20
thinking walk out
from a too flat Earth. =20

All that emptied=20
tried to avoid=20
wanting to run=20
from routine =20
simulations of life
gone over and over.

It wears at us=20
as an abrasive prep=20
for new paint=20
but all the same=20
underneath a coat=20
and still shivering.=20

Sometimes dream
making love
in unspeakable ways
of wanting to love
her unspeakable wants
as if that is freedom.=20

Sometimes dream=20
reading poetry=20
to ambiguous faces=20
in the darkness=20
not wanting to seem
to be the light.=20

Sometimes dream
capture images
defeating Time=20
where things move=20
in passing directions
through the moment.=20
=20
When were we=20
really all that free=20
but we dreamt=20
of knowing freedom
as something more
than a fading breath.=20

-------------------------


So it goes. It isn't as it was, and it isn't any better, but we were told r=
epeatedly it would be better, and all we needed was more patience.  We are =
not, it seems to me, more free, as of yet, than we once were, but we dream =
of knowing freedom.