Poems: 250922 - September 25th, 2022

140922A
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The go around
that never comes around
leaving the wishful
and the rubber gun traces 
betrayals of collusive
forms of vibrant 
violins and violence. 

It could be worse 
but never better 
picking up on it 
getting picked at
coming unstrung
ripe for the picking 
getting picked on. 

Schooled out days 
a never ending story
in the new sanitariums 
between the doobies 
and the alcohol 
hazed memories
at collective stupor.

We laugh it off 
if a subject comes up
touching upon 
uncomfortable regions
joking back 
from the empty places 
that lurk inside. 

We duck behind 
the ghosts of pop 
culture making up 
what a time it was
even if it wasn't much
of anything but
something to hide.  

No one really knows
who wasn't there 
but we read the papers
between births and obits   
something of the scores
filling in the gaps 
composing experiences. 

No one wants to confess
it was their parents 
would not let them
escape living room sit
televised amusements 
kept safe from scoring
anything but bench penalties.

When and what was it 
having a first date 
and who was it 
had that crush on
between illicit acts 
probed the alien worlds 
for adult vices. 

In the public view 
there are no problems 
and only good times 
given meaningless gloss
fool stunts and exploits 
into forbidden regions 
among midnight minds. 

Sake of the memories
mixing private fictions
with selective recollections
shows made by impresarios
paraded personal circuses 
showcases of impressions 
between our clown acts. 

We were not much then
and most never would be
much of anything to know
our inflated egos always
found a million ways 
to avoid the pin pricks
came with reality. 

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200922A
----------- 

An absorption 
is a one sort or another 
water into ground thing
attempting saturation 
to dissolve away days. 

Something to do 
always differs 
from what we want
ending actually doing 
but it fills the time. 
 
It was all ahead of us
then it passed us by
leaving us out 
somewhere behind
the looking forward. 

Strangers forever 
passing little notes 
under school desks 
counting up likes 
same as valentines. 

It goes no further 
than giggles & whispers 
behind our backs 
discouraging anything 
might become serious. 

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200922B
----------- 

Occluded days stuffed
up nose tight and try
to blow it clear
stays clogged 
choking up the calendar.

Every soiled tissue 
another idea 
gone all wet made
unattractive as soggy 
stale breakfast cereal. 

The morning feed 
has the same taste 
as a foot in your mouth
straight from the boot 
with marching orders. 

Suddenly realizing 
none of the nicest thoughts
from any past weeks 
will ever be any more 
than what was not wanted. 
 
They ruined your plans 
but they were the wrong people
gone from the very start 
soured milk and cold 
spoils the last of the coffee. 

You are your own boulder
so you keep rolling it 
wearing away a little more
each and every time 
but it never goes smooth. 

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210922A
----------- 

There are new reminders 
that the end comes suddenly 
even if it crept in 
while we were expectant
about other concerns. 

We were expended 
and we were disconnected 
from any Liebestraum 
and if there was any love
it simply failed to appear. 

Earlier instances 
coming as novelty items
leave no significant trace
other than the discontent 
comes from all such things. 

Awakened in the morning 
to feeling more reluctant 
and being something less
than half remembered 
unimportant bits. 

Left to decisions 
of equal insignificance 
about nothing better 
than the night before 
persisting as habits. 

What we once wanted
we cannot want anymore
and it was never as good
as we imagined it was
before a caricature event. 

Even the sketches 
in an artist's notebook 
leave less to be desired 
than what really happens
short of expectations. 

Something is missing 
and there are signs 
playing on that theme 
concealing the claws 
that reach for the money. 

You won't get anything 
that you would want
by going that way or any
similar cliched routine 
along those back streets. 

Only a wild animal 
knows how to get away
and I could never agree
to that sort of life 
given a thread of promise. 

And if you really knew
about anything better 
you might call someone 
that I would never know
and leave me wondering. 

------------------------------ 

220922A
----------- 

I know I should revise 
every one of my old words 
terrifying every one 
with approvals and denials
that banish and invite 
from any turn of the page. 

Conducting a final purge 
that eliminates the false 
from among the true 
believers in my own version
of what the facts became 
even if they maybe did not. 

The various signatories 
signing in invisible ink 
next to that of the author
taking no real responsibility
for their editorial acts
but knowing they are guilty. 

Meticulous putzing of bits 
that then pass as the record 
for any remaining purposes
concerns future discussions 
the way the mysteries escape
prying eyes and curious minds. 

A perpetual syllabus 
symposia of nothing whatever 
having anything to do with it
and the entrails of a goat 
long decayed away and dried up 
to dust between the pages. 

Makes it intelligible 
and stops people from asking 
unanswerable silly questions 
about impossible scenes 
involving improbable people
with inappropriate feelings. 

Should clean it all up 
the way a stable gets cleared
away every bit of truth 
fell from a horse's ass 
in those persistent efforts 
at attracting undue attentions. 

New words for old 
traded on word markets 
but at least it is poetry 
and that doesn't have to be 
anything so respectable 
in any larger scheme of things. 

I used to try to be true 
but found that it did no good 
so I tried to make it up 
but there are too many lies
stuck in too many throats
denying our make believe. 

I want to live there too 
if we could only make it up
for all those losses 
disappeared between the lines
but you never called me 
despite those many invitations. 

It meant that I was never there 
and no one really ever knew 
that it meant anything 
that I was or that I wasn't
so I tried to put it into words
but the words escaped me. 

I still spend too much time 
on the process of looking 
for what the blind can see
without the endless effort 
but I am still too lonely 
and the words escape me. 

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220922B
----------- 

They made me envy 
the trees simply because 
trees stand rooted 
and display no envy.

You never know what 
they tend to feeling 
and most doubt they feel
anything at all. 

When they are cut down 
they never resist 
and there is no complaint 
in any final sound. 

The hardest of us 
is still more the worm 
than the softest of trees 
nor speaking as quietly. 

There is language 
in the whispering of leaves 
before it becomes print 
on pulped limbs. 

-------------------- 

240922A
----------- 

I remember you 
and you remember me 
the way we aren't anymore. 

We can use that 
in one way or another 
as a sort of pretext. 

An open or closed case
arranging various facts 
into orderly presentations. 

One of us is guilty 
and perhaps both 
in our different ways. 

We could catch up 
on a volume of history 
we were never part of. 

That would take some time
adding another evasion 
to what anything is about.

Most often it ends there 
in a cyclical repetition 
of everything is the same.  

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250922A 
------------ 

Courage is a luxury now
that few can afford 
fearing being ended 
somewhere at something. 

A flock of angry birds 
squawking and scattering 
over a few little crumbs 
from an unknown source. 

That quaint spectacle 
comprised of envy and hate
threatening tooth and claw 
bash and grab. 

The benevolent deity 
sits on a park bench 
nothing to do but dispense 
handfuls of stale bread. 

That evolves quickly 
into partisan shootings 
and bread lines of men 
with bloodied hands. 

There will be burials 
to prevent the dissolution 
of flesh in the rain 
leaving feathers and bones. 

--------------------------------  

250922B
----------- 

There was a story 
but none of it was true
as in all such instances 
that destroy curiosity. 

There was really no me
and  really no you
among the ingredients 
made up as a plot. 

It makes no difference 
to anything more 
than the formal record 
about became or didn't. 

Realizing it matters 
nothing to me 
and that was the whole 
that I needed to know. 

Your parts being scattered 
to everyone else 
I have no need of them 
for anything at all. 

Perhaps because I avoided
imagining a scene  
that far from reality
no matter how desirable. 

The way that one dances
with shadows of strangers 
necessarily pretending 
that there is a future. 

I let you read into it 
depending on your viewpoint
comical or tragic 
comes out all the same. 

It is not what I wanted 
but proves you never cared
what was on my mind 
pointlessly eating away. 

My  perpetual mistake  
always  comes to any place 
that I then have to leave 
to being more alone. 

That serves as routine 
holding together a thin fabric
woven of other little habits
that make one recognizable. 

--------------------------------- 

250922C
-----------

Drop it 
right there
whatever it is
or they will shoot 
their mouths off 
to cut you up
and cut you down
right there 
deader than dead
on that very spot. 

The way it goes 
as to anything 
they don't want
standing out 
or getting any
gone so far past
end of a line
from waiting
for usual sorts 
of boredom. 

Admit it 
all that bravery 
is illusion 
and every hero 
merely a myth
convinced to do 
what others were
smart to avoid
being done to 
and undoing them. 

We are contrived
to entertaining 
various monsters 
know little more
than not having
friends in high places 
and forever 
on a look out 
for bits of heaven
crashed down. 

To be of dark age
in dark times 
becoming worse
than an unfortunate 
with no spoils 
and no legions 
mustered against 
the cruel nights filled
with an emptiness
of dream. 

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