Poems: 081122 - November 8th, 2022

191022A
-----------=20

Between news of wars
and the corpse cold ground
there are only the shadows.=20

All of our false beliefs=20
to whom it concerns=20
and better times arranged.=20

Carefully arranging things
as means to a pretense
that we are still in control.=20

It includes the furniture=20
and the placement of objects=20
wherever it seems right to us.=20

Settling for a familiar feeling
that unsettles everything=20
in the forthcoming  days.=20

Something collected together
sidelines of the fast=20
and gone by into neglect.=20

A falsetto toned address=20
to the designated unwanted=20
pullers at short straws.=20

Whatever the mission was
it was long ago scrubbed=20
and no one was debriefed.=20

Coming from the supermarket
carrying the weekly specials
while counting other scores.=20

You have mail it says=20
and you remain hopeful=20
at trying to sell old lies.=20

That is all they left for you=20
that remained marketable=20
in the light of changing trends.=20

-------------------------------------

261022A
------------

Only the darkest angels
know any of the truth=20
because meaning is given
only in the shadows.=20

You called me up=20
from where I was sleeping=20
as if you had a use for me
but I am still waiting.=20

I can only serve you=20
if I feel that much desire=20
as comes from what it is=20
you always leave out.=20

Such is the infernal game
we keep playing=20
chasing each other around
margins of predicaments.=20

Never quite into it=20
but submitting as beggars=20
for the sake of scraps=20
from foreign experiences.=20

It could be much more
if you were a brave=20
little raindrop challenge=20
to parched ground.=20

You have made us=20
no more than vapours=20
clouding a hazed vision=20
of a thin version of Earth.=20

-------------------------------   =20

261022B
------------=20

Taking our cues=20
from harsh weather=20
everything is torn off=20
and broken apart.=20

There are so many=20
possible explanations=20
though none of them is=20
what anything is about.=20

We could enjoy=20
the times in between=20
any then and any this=20
but that would ruin it all.=20

What would we really be
if we weren't each other's
individual sufferings=20
followed by the blame.=20

What is once ruined=20
is forever ruined again=20
in all the different ways=20
that make for ruin.=20

There are those above us
sure to prevent any good
could ever come about=20
from our own passions.=20

Hammer in the stakes=20
and drive in the nails=20
holding everything down=20
until it is too late.=20

Everything is in flight=20
from everything else=20
until gravitational collapse
into a common idea.=20

Ruined becomes a habit=20
readily turned customary=20
to be taken up by strangers=20
who fail to understand.=20

I don't understand you=20
and you don't understand me
but why would you even try to
if there is no profit in it.=20

------------------------------=20

311022A
-----------=20

I became the longing=20
you did not care to have
so you sought to be rid=20
of that same feeling.=20

How stories end=20
in official annals=20
editing out portions
of hard core reality.=20

Forced round identical
sorts of ragged circles=20
always forbidden=20
entry into the midst.=20

The swamp of emotions=20
that pulls someone in=20
to a moment of terror=20
as to never out of it again.=20

Belittled is the normative=20
to be accepted and sought=20
the way bargain items are
at the sale counters.=20

A living tombstone=20
grave marker highlights=20
filling in of detailed=20
joys and ambitions.=20

There won't be enough=20
what it all boils down to
to buy the antidote=20
for that much frustration.=20

Those cold hand holds=20
along a twilight line =20
where it all goes dark=20
into a dizzy headless spin.=20

Our jack-o-lantern faces=20
gaze across wasteland
payroll days carved
routine expressions.=20

Ghosts and ghouls=20
comprised various bit=20
parts of former selves=20
ratchet strain of memories.

You can hear it snap
when something breaks=20
at the conclusion of a rag
doll animation.=20

We are the demonized=20
proselytized and chained=20
hunched bell ringers=20
in toil's cathedrals.=20

Scratching at revulsion=20
to claw a way out=20
from going under into=20
the drowned out drift.=20

Can't scratch a way out
from where they force you=20
to continue to kill time
and pay for that privilege.=20

------------------------------

011122A
------------ =20

Being just another bore=20
you thought nothing of=20
I put aside whatever it was=20
that I once believed=20
someone else would want.=20

Maybe it was what I lost=20
so carelessly along the way
or maybe it was what I have=20
collected up to put aside=20
while made and unmade.=20

It feels like nothing now=20
same as when I began=20
at neither remembered=20
nor anything to recognize
and only passing through.  =20

I do not know what it was=20
but I know I do not have it=20
having looked for it=20
in secret and forgotten places
as if to really find something.=20

They took away the spaces
that I used to like to fill=20
and I no longer know=20
where it is anymore=20
that anyone can find anything.=20

It isn't what you think=20
and it isn't what you wanted=20
but it felt like something
that really never was =20
past hunted and haunted.=20

Each of us a forever look=20
for our special something=20
never there for having =20
until the end goes down=20
to pull apart and away.=20

Best to forget it all=20
once seemed memorable
leads to nothing but away
it goes and knowing
all the wrong reasons.=20

------------------------

011122B
-----------=20

There was a world=20
that I wanted to be in on=20
but it is all gone now.=20

I didn't catch it=20
and it fell entirely apart
into a million pieces.=20

Maybe we imagined =20
then shared our stories=20
trying to prove it real.=20

It has been many years
since I have met anyone=20
whom I believe was there.=20

No one leaves a message=20
in the old mailbox=20
about how it used to be.=20

The replicas come and go=20
being vaguely familiar=20
to what we thought we knew.=20

There are fragments of film
that we are being told=20
are the real documents.=20

It is too unbelievable=20
the world so cruel=20
as to become that different.=20

---------------------------------

011122C
-----------=20

I woke up unexpectedly=20
in the wrong dream=20
wanting to find a way=20
to get out of it again.=20

I thought I had chosen=20
a different scene=20
where something happens=20
the way I really wanted.=20

It isn't really mine=20
and I have no real idea=20
as to who left it here=20
for me to suffer.=20

Tired of never knowing=20
what to actually do next=20
outside an always long list
of essential but futile acts.

I am still waiting  =20
for someone to find me=20
whom I do not feel a need=20
to keep hiding from.=20

I can imagine in my mind=20
what that feels like=20
but I am no longer certain=20
that it is actually possible.=20

-------------------------------=20

011122D
-----------=20

I have no idea today=20
about how it really is=20
knowing nothing=20
is as it seems.=20

Turning off the news=20
as its punishment=20
for being misleading=20
and the weather obscure.=20

We have lost touch=20
what seems eons ago=20
in a primordial mash up
of distorted segments.=20

It was a mosh pit=20
crowded with random=20
ideas and feelings=20
all getting carried away.=20

Nothing in common=20
beyond an ingestion=20
of common facts=20
mixed with neutral filler.=20

Something that passes=20
for polite conversation=20
in midst the receiverships
of social bankruptcies.=20

There isn't any interest=20
remains to be shared =20
beyond poking at death
with sharpened sticks.=20

Going it alone=20
being far too expensive=20
a fatal proposition=20
but it is all we have got.=20

I cannot stand you=20
and you cannot stand me=20
but we are no longer forced=20
into a  9 to 5 get along.

I thought I could be freed=20
to someone else differently=20
but I am not there yet=20
and my clock is running out.=20

----------------------------------

011122E
-----------=20

Sky blue and bright light=20
means I could wander=20
the far lengths and breadths=20
of a same isolation.=20

Pacing lengths and breadths=20
of whatever defined space=20
pushing up against its walls=20
in any here and now.=20

Following fence lines=20
marked off  boundaries=20
concerning what goes on=20
over on some far side.=20

Here that is nowhere=20
other than familiar=20
sheltering of arrangements=20
turned into rejected invites.=20

They never came through
so we shuttered it all=20
realizing something cruel=20
about all such boundaries.=20

It does not really matter=20
who invites or who responds=20
in the finality of outcomes=20
leading to abandonment.=20

Some might put blame=20
on some dereliction of duty=20
and any other sorts of shame=20
but it is never that simple.=20

What is lost is forever=20
and forever is a long time=20
for something to be lost
that was forever wanted.=20

We are born into it=20
and we die from it=20
in the beginning and the end
forever wanting something.=20

Forget for sale or trade=20
when it comes down to it=20
but some seem to believe=20
they can get some that way.=20

They say it was=20
where it surely wasn't=20
and they say it wasn't=20
where it might have been.=20

The line is broken off=20
and there is no one there=20
to hold to a broken syllable=20
amid a scramble of letters.=20

An alphabet of needs=20
that are never really met=20
nor officially recognized=20
in any hush of wishes.=20

I thought there might be=20
but they took that too=20
leaving only walls and fences
dividing everything up.=20

----------------------------=20

011122F
----------=20

You tend to recollect=20
the ones who do not recall=20
anything about you=20
and the inconsequential=20
concerning any meeting.=20

It becomes everything=20
you should have forgotten=20
a very long time ago=20
along with other futilities=20
lodged as stale memories.=20

You pull it out of yourself=20
in the same way=20
you would pull a rusty needle=20
leaving a long ago trace=20
on the edge of your timeline.=20

Mortality is such a cruel thing
always wearing us down=20
before it snuffs out completely=20
in the middle of something=20
or something else.=20

We are largely comprised=20
from =E2=80=9Cif it had been different=E2=80=9D=20
reiterated countless times=20
until it floods out infinity=20
with endless contrary points.=20

Each point pokes another star
out from our night sky minds
indicating all the places
we can never get to know=20
as part of being emptied out.=20

Each newly burst balloon=20
another cartoon comic blip=20
inflated hot air rise=20
proves so empty inside=20
flying rubber band inventions.=20

Should never have mattered
but sometimes it does=20
for reasons we do not understand=20
and regrets that come later=20
to say =E2=80=9Cif it had been different=E2=80=9D.=20

--------------------------------------

011122G
-----------=20

Time runs away=20
and work remains undone=20
to nag as another diversion=20
in a chorus of many same.=20

Promising something=20
that we will never really get=20
coming at the end of what
is always unending.=20

Additions to a long list=20
of what we were tormented=20
towards giving up=20
whether we did or don't.=20

The correct answer=20
remaining eternally evasive=20
same as a sharp object=20
forever evades the cut.=20

There are diagrams=20
that reveal all of the parts=20
giving the false impression=20
anything can be put together.=20

It becomes about the tools
and having the desire=20
but it does not work that way
because it does not fit.=20

Repeat the same process=20
same result every time
wondering what you did=20
made it go that way.=20

Eventually you realize=20
the manuals are obsolete=20
and nothing is made that way
anywhere anymore.=20

------------------------=20