Poems: 270223 - February 27th, 2023

070123A
-----------

Comes slam down hard=20
as a dog eared cliche
yellowed pages=20
well thumbed
copy of those games=20
people play.

Playing cards=20
stained with body fluids=20
spelling out permissions
given specific moves=20
and bumping off=20
any maybe competition.=20

People play games=20
making carnal wagers=20
gambling money=20
and various body parts=20
feathering gaming rooms
gilt with desire.=20

Objects of lust=20
and lust for objects=20
throwing themselves=20
across wide sprawls
between the bar stools=20
and inked in arms. =20

--------------------------


110223A
-----------=20

Editing and revising=20
those regretted words=20
ought to be retitled=20
Book of Common Mistakes=20
a definitive guidebook=20
for the romantically inclined=20
leading to do it yourself=20
versions of disaster
that you can never untangle.

Those misguided knots=20
that most people end up tying=20
that needed to be cut=20
because they do not untie=20
same as ruined shoelaces=20
that would not come undone=20
loose ends taking up time
and no other way to spend it
within the tight constraints.=20

You cannot know=20
what you do not know=20
and worse yet=20
when you most need=20
to know it=20
because the truth really is=20
that what you need to know
is entirely irrational=20
and entirely absurd.=20

You could never guess=20
even half that much=20
before it was too late=20
when all you have done
is to make more mistakes=20
concerning all the mistakes=20
you never knew you made
and never really knowing=20
what the truth is.=20

It is that sort of place=20
and I know=20
you will disregard this=20
and every other warning=20
because it feels right=20
and it seems reasonable=20
feeling it right down deep
in your misleading skin bag=20
of rattle and laugh bones.=20

You did not have a prayer
of any real chance=20
because no one told you=20
but they let you think=20
that you really knew=20
and there are always fools
who really believe=20
you will figure it out=20
for yourself, given time.=20

You never did=20
and you never will=20
and that is what living it
down is all about=20
while learning to pretend=20
in convincing ways=20
you have really discovered=20
your true satisfaction=20
in nothing of the sort.=20

Eventually realizing=20
if only you had been=20
so much better informed=20
as to the real options=20
that you knew nothing of
before it was too late=20
and only after thoughts
making no real difference=20
in terms of losses and gains.=20

----------------------------------=20

130223A
-----------=20

Cannot put spilled milk=20
back into the bottle=20
to make it good as new
after it hits the floor. =20

The snow on the ground=20
reminds you=20
of the spilled kindness=20
that no one wanted.=20

You will live it down=20
as it melts away=20
into the same old mud=20
you crawled out from.=20

You had no real right=20
to be anything=20
other than selfish=20
but you made the mistake.=20

It all goes sour=20
due to immediate lashings
curdled by acid tongues=20
deep as blood and marrow.=20

You had no right=20
to try to save anyone else
except to realize=20
you could not save yourself.=20

Your white flag=20
signifying total surrender=20
appeared far too late=20
spilling across the floor.=20

That too going sour=20
torn into yellowed strips=20
to bind up the allegations=20
of our cowardice.=20

No one living or dead
really cares anymore
and you can join them=20
when you are ready.=20

-------------------------=20

130223B
-----------=20

It is not those we held=20
within the prisons of our lives=20
that were loved most=20
but those we chose to release
to some other different fate
that were whom we really loved.=20

Love ends up that way=20
though that is not a sort of love=20
that we ever really wanted=20
as though shooting ourselves=20
so someone else can get away
from nothing to offer.=20

Those instances that pass=20
as rare self cognizance=20
knowing who, what and where
we really are in relation=20
to the blind side of our wanting=20
no matter harm or damage done.=20

Love is such a contrary matter
defiant of what is common=20
as to what we were taught=20
and what trended to be learned=20
in contexts of ordinary desires=20
and common fears of loss.=20

As long as it was very ordinary=20
and nothing exceptional=20
that we feared to lose=20
we might have been condemned=20
to suffering it=20
rather than losing it.=20

We were once beautiful losers
in our fear of losing=20
letting go of the wrong things
and holding on similarly=20
to lost causes and lost flesh
making saints of our devils.=20

Love being the saddest thing=20
we ever came to know of=20
and the most misunderstood=20
among all ideas and reasons=20
for every love is a wanting=20
loved at some other's expense.=20

Even the wealthiest impose=20
their cost of love on whatever=20
thus seeking to possess=20
falsifying any generosity=20
in bad bargains made
on false and vain pretense.=20


Footnote :

As I was editing, amending, various old writings, from the early 1990s, the=
re were some thoughts in mind. So I penned that little bit of verse based o=
n those thoughts in mind. As to how wrong everything so often is, even if w=
e truly believe it is mostly right, at various mostly wasted portions of ea=
rlier life. Only to realize too late that we had it mostly wrong, rather th=
an right, along with everyone else that we once knew, who also had it as wr=
ong as we ourselves tended to have it. No one having taught us any better, =
even though definitely ought to have. How we ever got any of it right at so=
me later time, if we did get it right as some of us did, is a mystery and a=
 miracle of sorts. We would never have guessed how to do that based on what=
 we were taught, nor based on what we were inculcated with on the basis of =
"peer pressures". Quite the contrary. Quite amazing really how utterly insa=
ne our society is from that sort of standard. It simply keeps promoting and=
 perpetuating its same old mistakes as if they are the actual truth.=20


--------------------------------=20

1302223C
-------------=20

These times of blood=20
and seething crisis=20
stirred in to thicken=20
vices and corruptions.=20

We once dreamt=20
such beautiful dreams=20
but those too are turned
into too rich a feast.=20

Left neither the time=20
nor the means=20
for the raising up=20
of better monuments.=20

We are the cancelled=20
left tangled up in the red
tape, flags and banners
that ended our ambitions.=20

Too late to start again=20
with new red tape
waving flags and banners
of our personal revolutions.=20

It would take years to try=20
to resolve the little details=20
thus it would cost far too much=20
and we no longer have the time.=20

Left to challenged to keeping
our mementos and bodies
in mock semblances to order
as if it really matters.=20

Our defects are too many
for any further marketing=20
to the sell out crowd=20
that sold itself out long ago.=20

The audience has gone=20
on its quest for sex and death
leaving our bones rattling=20
subsequent to a usual gnawing=20

Reminded of the threats=20
promising constant hunger pangs
leaving you chewing=20
on bits of competition.=20

There are so many more
ways that lead to dying=20
that we can longer really find=20
any of the ways to live.=20

Feeling lucky if we can pay=20
the price for failed attempts=20
at the few remaining=20
parlours of common amusements.=20

They are there to pass time=20
but offer nothing interesting=20
and no one really wants=20
what now counts as leftovers.=20

Knowing we were closed down
as soon as we ever learned=20
how to try to open up=20
even if to the wrong people.=20

We wanted to be freed=20
to choosing something=20
that would be more interesting=20
but that was a fatal mistake.=20

A few ghosts congregate=20
less and less often in relation=20
to official national holidays
celebrating consumer products.=20

Nothing strange or different=20
can be permitted into the midst
of the failing conspiracies=20
that pass as friendships.=20

Some still make things=20
if they get money for them=20
but nothing they make=20
is really that interesting.=20

More are practising=20
wearing their boredom=20
as if it is a badge of courage
and a necessary  identity card.=20

Sentenced to a die out=20
 bang and whimper=20
obsessively pulling at straws
from their stuffed heads.=20

-------------------------------

240223A
------------

You deploy your love
to fight against anti-love=20
in a valiant battle=20
that you always lose.=20

It is not anything much
better than shooting=20
yourself in the foot=20
as far as that goes.=20

A little more=20
and it would kill you=20
leaving a stain=20
where you had a life.=20

You can join up=20
with the resistance=20
but then you will lose=20
for not taking sides.=20

Never really mattered
what or who it was=20
that led to new wounds=20
bleeding all the same.=20

---------------------------=20

270223A
-----------=20

We were mostly tricked=20
to pursuing freedoms=20
that we did not really have
and could not really get.=20

When we realized the truth,
that it was to set us up=20
for severe disappointments,=20
it was far too late.=20

You cannot really miss out=20
on opportunities=20
that you never really had=20
on that long road around.=20

Your imagination stimulated=20
to various flights of fancy=20
that someone else gave you=20
as if travel brochures.=20

Pick a destination in life=20
that you will not be going to
wasting time and money=20
on nonredeemable tokens.=20

Collect the entire set=20
and pretend that satisfies=20
whatever deeper cravings=20
the sales department stimulated.=20

They always want you=20
wanting what you cannot have=20
where and with whomever=20
you cannot have any.=20

Left you wanting for something=20
that you can never have=20
in generic or particular terms=20
within a confined reality.=20

You are a monkey in a cage=20
that cannot ever get out=20
from being a that cage=20
that you would never choose.=20

Such a hard lesson to learn=20
in the shuffle and grind=20
always raw deal of your life=20
being redirected too late.=20

The other now obsolete options=20
racked up as carnival prizes
that you could never win
and cannot win anymore.=20

Maybe it really was=20
the time limited=20
skill testing question=20
where you actually failed.=20

Maybe you simply were not
what anyone really wanted=20
turned into a freak
the freak show rejected.=20

Merely another contestant=20
for a prize you cannot claim=20
and then they always tell you=20
you did not really want it.=20

Should have joined something
but having no idea what it was
and there were no actual offers
worth any real consideration.=20

You thought you were free
but it is not like that=20
and it never really was=20
that sort of trade off.=20

You would have done alright
as someone's favourite clown
or their pet monkey=20
if you had been a bit luckier.=20

You got to watch long distance
how others were making it=20
in all the various ways=20
you were not permitted to.=20

Stimulating your imagination=20
with further equations=20
in algebras of need=20
that defy any possible solutions.=20

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