Poems: 150423 - April 15th, 2023

090423A
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Your discovery 
that you are living 
stuck between floors
on an elevator run. 

Someone would tell you
that it is a state of mind
but that too can represent
the conditions of reality. 

Your having no way
to make it go up
or go down 
and the doors do not open. 

You hear distant voices 
from corridors and penthouse
but there is no information
between bursts of laughter. 

Threatening rumblings 
rise u p from the pit 
somewhere in a sub basement
of imagined torment scenes.

You have been there 
what seems forever 
getting jerked around 
in between floors. 

No one hears 
the alarm sounding 
so you sit there 
waiting for it to move.

Someone is in control 
but it is never you 
and all you are is stuck
in between floors. 

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100423A
----------- 

We have all become 
the very same 
destroyers of worlds 
as if there is no other way. 

Denials and affirmations
are the meaningless prattle 
the mumble mouthed 
failures and interlocutions. 

What is the real purpose 
that exists in all the making
becomes so much breaking 
and only the ghosts really know. 

They know what was there 
where the voices lived 
and what remains after 
is tied to the dust of forever. 

Saviours and culture heroes 
along with the sweet things 
of what is now a museum past 
in process of re-definition. 

No one does that anymore 
and you are left to wonder why
in a world increasingly stripped
of what was truth and beauty. 

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110423A:
------------ 

It goes down, 
down, down, down, 
taking that feeling with it
that plunges inside of you
forced up into the throat 
a heavy gut lump
threatening to turn to vomit. 

All those things 
that you wanted to do 
that can never  be done 
and your being misinformed
by the historical facts 
that people used to do them
but no one does it anymore. 

At least no one you know 
and knowing is itself 
a sweet thing of the past 
that the dying reminisce on
and the young keep denying
any real knowledge of 
crowing like legendary cocks. 

The betrayals are memorable 
and whatever you started 
someone else came and ended
with their selfish motives
having no real or good reasons 
beyond sharing bad habits 
with their usual wrecking crews. 

You could try to tell them 
it was not always that way 
but the noise of the brain wash 
would drown out your words
leaving your mouth bubbling 
its incoherent bursts 
into gone vague and empty. 

You know you should stop 
talking about anything 
that merely proves 
your inability at playing music 
and a similar gross lack 
of any other social skills 
such as Trivial Pursuit. 

There is nothing left to do 
except learn to consume 
the types of products 
that are deemed appropriate 
to your income level 
where you are made to believe
freedom is now too expensive. 

The good stuff is out of reach 
and even if you could afford it
there would be no use for it
as that is out of reach too 
and that is about privilege 
that you cannot ever  buy
with any amount of money. 

People do not do things 
with other people anymore 
unless they want to get 
what you do not have 
or do not want to give them
in exchange for something 
you do not want to get. 

And if you try to talk 
they refuse to hear you 
because you are not saying 
what they want to hear 
and there is no point in that 
because it leads to nowhere 
that you would want it to go. 

They declare your vision blind
and your viewpoints void 
in accusations of sleep walking 
cancelling your dreams out 
with categorical determinations 
as to who they say you are 
contrary to anything you want to be. 

The only place left 
to really feel comfortable 
is somewhere in the past 
but no one that you know 
wants to live there anymore
and it is no fun alone 
no matter what you dream. 

Rumours of life style choices 
available somewhere down the line
but you never seem to get there
to that particular station 
where someone might be waiting 
for what is left of your type 
travelling the ruins of the underground. 

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110423B
----------- 

Turning pulp fiction 
into papier mache 
so you can build a world
out of the stray letters 
some still clinging 
to their syllables.

The universe an inscription
that we cannot read 
in hardly knowing anything
about its alphabet soup
formed primordial words 
expressing strange ideas. 

We are left with explanations
proposed to us by savages 
who would kill 
simply to make those true 
and civilizations are built 
on those types of lies. 

Another typical cabal 
supported by the syndicates 
who secretly approve 
as well as secretly condemn 
the various statements 
the accounts and terminations

The truth never has a chance
against pulp fiction 
and maybe it is for the best 
that it remains that way 
as to the papier mache 
of all those alphabets. 

We try to read the surface
intrigued by that thin shell 
but experience always says
it would all be destroyed 
if we were to shatter it 
in any effort to get inside.

It causes us to stop trying
having become discouraged
by always breaking things 
to try to get out the meanings 
as if we could find 
some secretly beautiful truth. 

There are plenty of rumours 
as to secret and beautiful truths
but there are no invitations 
and all you really know of any
is the long road back around 
between rows of gates and fences.

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120423A
----------- 

There is no point going 
to where someone talks 
what I do not want to hear 
especially from whom
I do not want to hear it said
and with contrary intentions. 

Those who secretly want 
some of that usual ugliness 
that drives their conversations
out of a hungry darkness 
claiming captive territories 
and building their walls. 

Sometimes that is all there is
as to any chances at going 
so one counts it as gone 
and that is all there really is
to relieve that added tension 
that there is no good need of. 

Leaving those usual conditions
of various types of social siege 
the way the French say it 
in between a croissant and wine
as the clock times out 
the duration of that nausea. 

I find I am not really free 
to do any of what I intended 
and much less what I wanted 
but I am more free to pretend 
that I have been broken out 
from that other type of prison. 

Another way of becoming 
another type of obsolescent 
brand caught up in the stream 
of the latest obsolescence 
took decades to develop  
in time for no longer wanted. 

Between the oppression  
that  is other people 
and the oppression of mortality
there is not really very much 
other than more wanting 
for what life routinely denies. 

Perhaps it is always too late 
to begin all over again 
but still far too early 
to give in to the executioner 
so we get tangled up between 
those two styles of ritual. 

The old ways having failed 
we try to find new ways
to spend the remaining time 
carrying the latest banners 
that announce our uncertainties
along with a marching band. 

What we started at long ago 
takes a long time to achieve 
but by then it is unpopular 
having been replaced 
by something we do not like
and would never want to do. 

Many cave in to the coercion 
as to doing whatever it is 
that they never want to do 
simply to acquire some of anyone
who does the same 
and some call that happiness. 

----------------------------------- 

120423B
----------- 

Maybe what we really long for
is for when it was possible 
to enjoy some novelty 
without any sense of guilt.

When it was possible to like 
something that was different 
from what the others wanted 
without being rejected by that. 

When we could be the surprise 
or find the surprise 
that came in the package 
that we could have hoped for. 

That was called opening up 
in a more real way than confessions 
muttered to priests or psychology
in the hopes of settled claims. 

Realizing it still gets you nowhere
that you really want to be 
and is that punishment or reward
asks the little man in the Dark Lodge. 

Nowadays if it is something odd 
that you happen to like chances 
it will never like you in return
and too ordinary will hound you. 

It is the too ordinary kills it 
then drags in the lifeless remains 
as if that is a peace offering 
to be left on your doorstep. 

They do not really want you 
to really like anything at all
that is not mass produced 
including you or anyone else. 

Your brand no longer available 
and no longer marketable 
no one wants to deal 
those types of goods anymore. 

There is no way to add up 
those sorts of damages 
and no way to litigate
for not really being wanted. 

You are still left in the wings
to sitting out the entire game
just when you began to believe
you could get in on it. 

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120423C
------------ 

You were never the real thing
because that was too extreme 
compared to what life gave you. 

The world is an extreme place 
demanding that much more proof 
than what it doles out to you. 

It is always stingy in that regard
and you are just another dog to it
to whom it would throw a bone. 

Those bones are already too chewed
and worse yet they have learned
how to chew on you. 

It wants to take so much more 
than it ever chooses to give you 
then it says you want too much. 

You cannot make that bargain 
with no one to bargain with 
as to the wanting and offering. 

So choose something else 
then choose something else again 
until you stop being choosy. 

Whatever you looked for 
they  offer  something  opposite 
and no way to negotiate. 

There being no way to settle 
that sort of ruined account 
lacking those bargaining chips. 

You cannot get in on it 
though you know there are others
who are always in on the picture. 

That picture that you want to be in
in that scene you want to play 
and why do they have someone. 

And you are left a bit part 
that you cannot possibly do 
as to being that other character. 

There is nothing ever for you 
and you always get all the blame 
for failing to change into someone else. 

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130423A
-----------  

Neither the one nor the other 
caught up in the middle 
of that perpetual battle 
of the strong and the weak. 

Nothing really wrong with you
but nothing is right either
and then all that stands out 
is a suspected betrayal. 

Not chosen by either side  
because you are neither 
the fixed nor the broken 
so you are left out, outside. 

The dance without a partner 
that dances with the ghosts 
until bones come loose 
dropping to the floor. 

Merely a point of humour 
between whatever functions 
and what does not work at all 
stuck at a split in the middle. 

There is nothing at the divide 
and you never really qualified 
as the one thing or the other 
where they cut the stacked cards. 

It is not what they wanted 
in that pick and choose of it all
and you feel like you are an effigy
being hung middle of that crowd. 

That becomes everyone's fool 
hated for trying harder 
and blamed for not trying enough
but there are no winning propositions. 

You are stuck in the middle 
where there is nothing at all 
where it hurts more that way 
always squeezed for too much. 

You tried but you could not 
yet you cannot prove you failed 
due to any acceptable malfunction
of a defined system or part. 

They never gave you that much 
and you could only envy others 
who had what it takes 
on that score or any other. 

They simply replace you 
and you get all of the blame 
followed by all of the complaints 
that become a reputation. 

------------------------------- 

130423B
----------- 

Nothing for you here 
and nothing for you there 
but you feel totally exploited 
by your past associations. 

You tried to hit the targets
and you tried to make the grade
but no one really wanted any 
of your type of score. 

No one ever talked about you 
in those types of ways 
and if you ever made novelty 
it was never what was popular. 

It is all a sort of sordid act 
no matter how you see or turn it 
and the worst of fakes make it 
as more genuine than you. 

There were ways to buy perceptions
but it cost more than you had 
and there were always those 
making sure you came up short. 

It is all over town that you always do
come up short and lack the girth 
that could be considered respectable 
within the conditions of your confinement. 

You know every deal you ever made 
was a deal gone entirely wrong 
and everyone you ever knew 
believed in better options. 

You learn to hate the ones 
you do not like who want to love you
and you learn to love some you like
who only like to hate you.  

You find less and less to talk about 
in the progress of that perishing 
learning that no one really wants 
rumours of you adrift in their tea cups. 

The way fortunes are told 
sweetened with traces of wishes and beliefs 
that you long ago gave up any hopes for 
along with many other misunderstandings. 

You never really made it 
beyond the point of the struggle 
and if there was anything you loved
it would leave you dead on the floor. 

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140423C
----------- 

The slideshow tease is a regular 
indication of a current common condition 
and something far less 
than throwing glances around a room
despite all of the added complications
that are routinely listed or not. 

A few of the more courageous 
might push a meaningless button 
that connects with nothing 
but it is only the latest version 
of a new style of wish fulfillment 
where no one grants any wishes. 

I do not like the strange cold world 
that we have come to 
because there are no real signals 
concerning any possible truths 
pertaining to any sorts of wanting 
anything real about you or me. 

There is no point in liking 
any real or imagined offerings 
because there is nothing to be had 
no matter what we might want 
from the greatly expanded selection 
of true and false questioning. 

The truth is always the same 
extended spectrum of rejection 
in between the various lies 
that avoid unpopular revelations
but that too is rejection 
and only more of the same. 

How does anything really connect
and well, the truth is it does not 
making everything so much harder 
than it always used to be 
as to anything more specific 
than a vague and misleading tease. 

You want to see if the fish will bite 
on that illusion of bait 
but without any intent to hooking 
anything on that thin thread line 
strung between a mash of words
and the exotic eye candy. 

Nothing to look after anything 
in any real way at all
beyond another objection 
might be to anything at all 
that cannot ever be over ruled
by anything from above or below. 

It is so much easier now 
to make it all much more difficult
than it ever was before 
but that comes from systems design
and they take no responsibility 
for how those dice are loaded. 

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140423D
----------- 

All that is really missing 
is the Dystopian Anthem
but never bother looking for that
because it would be too revealing 
as to how it all tends to go
despite how the lyrics are changing.  

Your words following new patterns
devised to try to convince me 
that we had it wrong all along
and that someone finally put it right
as to who and where and how 
it is all supposed to be. 

We would have enjoyed something 
but no one does that anymore 
and you are not brave enough 
nor needy enough for an offering 
that is not being sanctified 
by today's commercial messages. 

No more thoughts of any of the bliss 
that actually seemed possible 
not only entirely plausible 
to our overly sinful imaginations 
mostly having been black lined out 
by the latest spate of censorship.

It only says you cannot really have any
because someone has decided 
that you should have something else
that you do not want anything of at all
and they know that you never did
but that is why and reveals a method. 

Most of anything that attracted you 
having been shifted over and across 
into that forbidden zone 
where you get absolutely nothing 
beyond a pointless pay to view 
but not because it was actually harmful. 

That has become the new limit
that they have imposed on courage 
as to those who dare to cross over 
into paying the price of eye fulls 
of what has been turned into strange 
improbable scenes in impossible places. 

What has intentionally hurt you the most 
is all that was never actually harmful 
having been taken completely away 
because someone drew some new lines 
you are now required to keep inside of
while trying to colour in your world. 

Some people are now being convinced
that they have to use White Out 
to cover over everything there is 
as if that will free them from the lines
that someone has drawn around them 
as to what, where, how, and whom. 

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150423A
----------- 
 
All you really ever get 
is the empty idea of it all 
the concept without substance
the plan without a chance. 

They give y ou that much 
as you pursue false leads 
to anything but satisfaction
in the illusion that you can. 

It is not what you ever get
even if you go that far 
and it is still the same nothing
at the end of any line. 

If you get any real chance 
to really connect the dots 
your lines will be criticized 
for being too straight. 

It was only another illusion 
that you could ever feel free 
beyond that suggestion 
that says you lack experience. 

It is simply another flavour 
that you never got to taste 
after being sold on a craving 
you never get to satisfy. 

That is how it goes down 
past the doses of jealousy 
and being infected with envy 
for what those others get. 

You feel like you are a voyeur
looking in through a window
of their very private party 
never really being invited. 

It is not theirs that you want 
but it is too difficult to explain 
what it is really like to be a fly
behind  the window glass. 

------------------------------- 

150423B
------------ 

I never could get in 
to your sort of circle 
but I never really wanted
to circle round you that much. 

I wanted too much 
for any of their liking 
wanting what a circle is 
the shadows and rumours of. 

What I really wanted 
was a very private affair 
where the constraints are undone
and the circles unlocked. 

They tend to blame me too much
for wanting to be that free 
to you to be you and me to be me
outside the limits of usual fictions. 

Now all that I hear of it 
is that you had it all 
but you had it with someone else 
as round go those circles 
in the same old places. 

--------------------------- 

150423C
----------- 

I saw your picture book 
and flipping through the pages 
I could pretend at motions
along the edge of discretion. 

It is nothing like an invite 
that allows me to know you 
the way I would want to 
in any of those scenes. 

Why did you do that 
to unfortunates such as me
exposing secrets and places 
where I would want to live. 

I do not like it on the outside
always merely looking in 
and it makes it harder to know
some really are that way. 

The way that you make it seem
that something can be 
where the shackles can come of
and the truth is then set free. 

---------------------------------- 

150423D
----------- 

It is really nothing new
but there is more of it 
and really nothing to be had.

Does not matter what it is
and it does not matter why 
it is that you really want it. 

You made your wishes same
as those of any wishful fool 
assuring a long list of failures.

Each wish revealing something 
that wishing takes away 
from the reflections in a pool. 

You feel like a monkey left to stare
into an empty little pool of wondering
whether you can wash a banana. 

There is that sort of drowning 
that slowly drowns you out 
and gently washes you away. 

That sort of gentle and slow 
are sometimes the most painful
giving more of the same wishful. 

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