Blue Zapp - Satellite Comics

Blue Zapp and the Space XXX Crystal

Chapter 1

Blue Zapp surveyed the edge of Macarthur on its northern boundary. Slug was=
 down in the walking alley. He was with Brawler. They were obviously up to =
no good. Blue Zapp clutched his copy of the Criminal Code of the ACT, lates=
t edition, and started the trek down the grass alley between fields. Slug a=
nd Brawler were obviously well aware of his approach, but made no decision =
to leave. Blue Zapp arrived, and examined the situation. They were looking =
at a crsytalline object on the grass.

'What is it?' asked Blue Zapp.

'No idea,' said Slug.

'Go figure,' said Brawler. 'Some new age thing, but we can't pick it up. At=
tached to the ground or something.'

Blue Zapp got down on the grass and cleared away the grass and soil around =
the base of the crystal. Soon enough he had cleared the entire base, but th=
e crystal stayed stationary, suspended in the air.

'It's hovering there,' said Blue Zapp.

'Monitoring device of the Government,' said Slug. 'Got to be. They have tec=
h like this these days.'

'Don't think so,' said Blue Zapp. He noticed, then, the SX symbol on the Cr=
ystal. It was a less used design, but he knew it.

'Space XXX,' said the Blue Zapp. 'It's an object of Space XXX. The marker i=
s on it.'

Slug kicked it, and said 'Dumb organisation. They never frikking employ any=
one from the lower class. Bastards. Come on Brawler, let's leave.'

Blue Zapp watched them go, then took out hismobile and rang the Canberra br=
ance of Space XXX.

'Is the object bothering anyone?' asked a lady.

'It's just sitting in the alleyway,' said Blue Zapp.

'Is it by the edge of the alleway. About a metre from the fenceline?' asked=
 the lady.

'Pretty much,' replied Blue Zapp.

'Then the horses shouldn't be affected too much.'

The alleyway was actually part of a horse trail. Its purpose.

'Is this all legal?' asked Blue Zapp.

'I can put you through to our legal department if you like,' replied the la=
dy.

'No, never mind. Bye,' and he hung up.

He pointed his mobile at the object, and took a picture. Interesting. A mys=
tery, somewhat resolved, but he'd keep his eye on it. Time to go home.


Chapter 2

Blue Zapp farted. It smelled. He should modify his diet. He stretched, got =
out of bed, went to the toilet, had a shower, and got to his breakfast, tur=
ning on the TV. Standard Sunrise chit-chat. Monique Wright, how cute you we=
re. Blue Zapp had a crush. Finall, toast and orange juice complete, he turn=
ed off the TV, and went to his main PC. He clicked open his portfolio page,=
 and examined his shares. Things were doing ok, and he spent half an hour m=
aking 2 investments in shares from some recent dividends. Work finished for=
 the day, he brought up the Space XXX website and started examining. He was=
 looking for signs of the crystals. He couldn't find anything. He took out =
his mobile, and rang Space XXX.

'Blue Zapp here,' said Blue Zapp.

'Kermit the Frog here,'replied the lady he had spoken to yesterday.

'Seriously, I'm the superhero Blue Zapp.

'Come on dude. How can you get any lamer than calling yourself Blue Zapp. W=
hat, did you wait till all the actually cool superhero monikers were taken,=
 and then chose from what was left? Blue Zapp? Hardly fear inspiring.'

Blue Zapp listened. 'Lady. I'm the Blue Zapp. It's a solid name. Put me thr=
ough to management.'

'What's the issue fearsome Blue Zapp,' she replied.

'Tart tone in your voice,' said the Blue Zapp.

'Hey, I'm Aussie and proud. What's the issue?'

'The crystal,' said Blue Zapp.

'Putting you through to Special Operations,' said the lady. Blue Zapp waite=
d.

'Yep. Roger here,' said a voice.

'Blue Zapp here,' said Blue Zapp. 'This crystal in Macarthur.'

'We have a public brief. Write to Space XXX and we'll send you the info.'

'I need more than that,' said Blue Zapp.

'We have clearing from the Government,' replied Roger. 'It's in our brief.'

'What's it all about?' asked Blue Zapp.

Roger went silent. After a while he spoke. 'Do you work?'

'I receive shares,' replied Blue Zapp.

'Just a sec,' said Roger.

Blue Zapp waited. 5 minutes passed, but he hadn't been put on hold.

'3 years experience as a superhero,' said Roger eventually. 'Reasonable.'

'You are on my website are you?' asked Blue Zapp.

'Something like that,' replied Roger. Hold on a sec. I'll just check with t=
he bossman. Be about 5 minutes.

Blue Zapp waited. He watched the clock on his PC. 7 minutes passed. Roger's=
 voice returned.

'Do you want to work for Space XXX?' asked Roger.

Blue Zapp went silent. 'Why?' he said after a while.

'We're looking for your type. Responsible sorts. Astronaut sorts. Military =
is often used at this stage, but you seem to be what we need now. Superhero=
 work is the kind of thing which also makes the astronaut we're looking for=
.'

'Why employ me though?'

'Coz, dude. That Crystal is part of 'Earth-Net'. There are several of them =
around the globe. We're gonna need them in a hurry a whole lot pretty damn =
soon. There are things not human coming towards us. And we've examined thei=
r ships from our telescopes as best as possible, and those laser cannons ar=
e definitely laser cannons.'

'Oh,' said Blue Zapp. 'Alien invasion.'

'We don't know where there from, and there forces are not astronomical, but=
 we need to be ready. They are probably looking to colonize this planet for=
 their people. The main assumption at this stage.'

'So it's war in the galaxy?' asked Blue Zapp.

'What we're expecting. And don't tell anyone. Public fear. They will find o=
ut soon enough anyway.'

'I understand,' replied the Blue Zapp. He put down the mobile for a sec, lo=
oked at the picture of his mother on the wall, and put the mobile to his mo=
uth. 'I'll come in tomorrow.'

'Glad to see you then,' said Roger.

Blue Zapp looked at the stars that night. Superhero work in Macarthur was o=
ne thing. But alien invasions? That was not in his manifesto in any way, sh=
ape or deed. Time to prove himself a hero indeed.


Chapter 3

'Why are we in Tharwa?' asked Blue Zapp.

Matilda scratched her head, and looked at him. 'Listen big blue. You shined=
 in training, and we've got work for you.'

Blue Zapp gave her a puzzled look. Soon a ship was coming down from the ski=
es, which Blue Zapp anticipated as everyone was looking upwards. It landed,=
 and a doorway opened. Blue aliens came out, armed with weapons. Matilda nu=
dged Blue Zapp, and Roger said 'Go on.'

Blue Zapp went forward.

'You look like Lobo,' he said.

The blue aliens looked at each other, and looked at Blue Zapp. 'We've spoke=
n English for a week,' said one of the aliens. 'We are well trained warrior=
s, and adapt well. We do not know this Lobo.'

'He's from DC Comics,' said Blue Zapp. 'Don't worry about it.'

'You are there negotiator?' asked the alien.

'I guess so.'

'We are colonizers,' said the alien. 'As we explained, our weapons are nece=
ssary if attacked. We are not hostile.'

'I see,' said Blue Zapp.

'We were told that we need to talk to a regular thinking member of society =
who has normal perspectives on this issue.'

'And they suggested me did they?' asked Blue Zapp, looking at Roger and Mat=
ilda.

'You know the common man, they said to us.'

'Probably,' said Blue Zapp, looking at the aliens.

'We like to colonize and grow our empire. We breathe oxygen. We have gold, =
and intellectual property to trade with. Unique cultural offerings. We are =
looking for a base of operations, and a number of places in Australia to se=
ttle townships. Ultimate population of approximately one million of our spe=
cies. Can this be negotiated?'

'Explain the cultural offerings,' said Blue Zapp. 'Is it worth Australia's =
while?'

'We have similar bipedal functions to your own species. The best of our cul=
ture would logically prove entertaining enough to warrant a hosting from yo=
ur planet.'

'You can offer us foods?' asked Blue Zapp.

'Probably some designs with your own foods rations we can offer, but we hav=
e strict policies on inter-galactic quarantine. It would be best not to pla=
nt our own shrubbery on your world. At least not yet anyway. Much discussio=
n first.'

'Obviously,' replied Blue Zapp. He turned, and started walking back to the =
others. 'Shouldn't be a problem dudes,' said Blue Zapp, and rejoined Roger =
and Matilda. She nudged him and whispered 'Well done Bluey.'

The aliens bent down and took a sample of some grass and soil, and returned=
 to their ship, when went to the skies.

Roger, who had been pointing a receiving speaker at them, and listening to =
the conversation on headphones, said 'Should prove what they wanted.'

'Become a hero, fight crime, meet aliens. All in a day's work,' said Blue Z=
app.

Matilda clutched his hand. 'Well done lame Blue Zapp.'

That much encouraged the great blue wonder.

The End