Re: LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #327: Deja Dude and Master Blaster Part Three

Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>>   "By the way, Rob, I thought we agreed that you weren't going to try
> to take advantage of Sister State-the-Obvious."
>   "Hey, it wasn't like that!" Master Blaster insisted.  "She was upset!"
>   Deja Dude nodded.  "Maybe but you have to understand that people, well,
> might not see it that way."
>   Master Blaster looked hurt.

You know, I never thought of Master Blaster as emotionally needy before...

> Master Blaster follows Deja Dude to the Peril Room.
> 
> "Well, what do you think?"
>   "C00l!"

Heeheehee.

> "Uh, Rob, I think your big gun is *too* big: you're never going to be
> able to lift that."
>   Master Blaster looked confident.  "Sure I will!  Just have the artist
> draw me with disproportionately large arms!"

All right, that's a good joke. X>

> "That was it's highest flame setting: CREMATE!"
>   Deja Dude nodded.  "Impressive but it isn't over yet."
> 
> Two more robots appear.  Master Blaster raises his gun and fires.
> @#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> The robots are unharmed.
> 
> "What the @#$%?!"
>   Deja Dude explained.  "Those robots are more sophisticated than the
> first one: they're intelligent.  That makes them impervious to flames."

Huh. I always figured Master Blaster would use, you know, regular ordinance, but 
I feel like Martin was always pretty into the newsgroup metaphor aspect of the 
LNH in this era.

>   "This gun doesn't flame; it chatizes."
>   "Chastizes?"
>   Deja Dude nodded.  "Observe."
> 
> Deja Dude raises his gun and fires: TSK TSK TSK.  The robots stop.
> 
> "Hey, why are we doing this?" one robot asked the other.
>   "This is what we were programmed to do," the other answered.
>   "But, it isn't very nice!"
>   Its companion nodded.  "Yeah, you're right."
> 
> The two robots return to from whence they came.
> 
> "Wow!" said Master Blaster.
>   Deja Dude nodded.  "Chastizing works when flaming fails."

I've seen this kind of sentiment in other LNH stories, and like... imagine being 
this... *naive*. Imagine thinking that saying "now, now, this is a bad thing 
you're doing" is going to stop someone angry on the Internet. Hell, imagine 
thinking "chastising" and "flaming" are two exclusive categories. I could go on 
but I shan't. @.@

>   "Well, suppose you're in a flame war and you post 'You're a @#$%^&*
> @#$%^&*!'"
>   "Ah!  Then I'd be winning!"
>   "No, you'd have just lost."
>   "Huh?"
>   "All someone would need do is chastize you for using foul language and
> that would be it."

SERIOUSLY

> Meanwhile, in the monitoring room are Ultimate Ninja, Doctor Stomper,
> Kid Anarky, Kid Frothing-At-the-Mouth, Sarcastic Lad, Politically
> Correct Person, Kid Poetry and W.I.L.B.U.R.
> 
> "W.I.L.B.U.R., are you sure you can't find any trace of Old Comics
> Man, Multi-Tasking Man and Kid Kirby?"
>   "I ran a full spectrum trace like you said, Ultimate Ninja."
>   "Well, do it again."  Ultimate Ninja sighed.  "Where could they be?"

And... actually tying in with the plot a little!

Drew "Master Blaster worrying about the missing ladies makes sense, don't get me 
wrong" Nilium