Re: Autopackage @ LinuxTag in Berlin

Hello

If it is not too late, let me input some suggestions: I have years of
experience with writing, so I hope these comments are helpful. Please do
not take any negative comments personally, I am just trying to
be constructive, point out some flaws and offer suggestions. Also sorry
for any typos, I am on a bus.

As for having a summary: a well done summary is not only for visitors
to read, it is also a tool for you. Work on it as much as you can (and
see towards the end of letter for more suggestions)

First anf foremost: who are your target readers? Users installing
autopackages, developers creating autopackages or distribution
vendors? From the current text I assume the answer is "all of
them". Then the basic suggestion is to split the text into several
sections, eg "Autopackage for users" and "Autopackage for developers"
Put the users part first, as they will get scared if they see anything
about "binary compatibility" and "glibc" in the text. And believe me -
they will. My stereotypical mother is a smart woman, a writer and a
retired museum director. But the other day I discovered she cannot
differentiate between a username and password. Of course there are more
computer-literate ones, but do not exclude the former group.

Other possible sections could be:
"Techincal description"
"Who is using autopackage"

Jan Niklas Hasse <[email protected]> wrote:
> Autopackage is a free computer package management system 

Free computer package management system might be politically correct,
but it is long and confusing. Use: tool/utility for installing
software

> aimed at making it simple to create a package that can be installed on

It either makes or aims (and fails). Use: makes or rephrase (see below)

> all Linux distributions and have that package integrate well into the
> desktop environment.

This sentence is getting too long and tries to say at least 5 things at
once. Move the integration part into a separate sentnce.

> It is intended to be used for installing non-core
> applications such as word processors, web browsers, and personal
> computer games, rather than core libraries and applications.

This is technical data that is of interest to developers (library
is where you get books from!) and distribution vendors (and they don't
care as we've seen). Kick this entirely out of the leading paragraph
(into developers section or any other relevant section). Lead is for
making your point with very few sentences. But mentioning words
processors an the like is good, as this is something people can relate
to (as opposed to a scary "software package"). And include some general
praise instead. And while doing it: "games", not "personal computer
games" (as opposed to impersonal ones?!)

Here's my suggestion for the lead, taking into account my comments
above:

"Autopackage is a tool for creating and installing software packages
compatible with most Linux distributions, including even older versions.
Applications like words processors, web browsers and games installed
using Autopackage will be completely integrated into your
desktop environment. Autopackage provides an easy, unified and
compatible way of distributing and installing software for both
users and developers."

This is as far as many people will read. But assuming we piqued their
interest and they want to find out more, you have to think about what
might they be interest in. I can see the following cases (with
some humor added):
a) a user, who has tried installing something on Linux, failed (or
gone through the ./configure;make;make install phase) and is thinking:
"Hey, they speak English instead of l33t! Maybe this software thingy
will be helpful for me. Let's find out more"
b) a developer thinking: "One size fits all? I doubt it, but just maybe
it can help me get more users for my program XYZ. Let's see how they
make this happen"
c) a hardcore unix purist, fanboy or any other entity that believes in
the central repository model above all. He/she has probably heard of AP
already and is thinking along the lines: "Why don't people _still_
understand that this is so wrong. It will break your installation and
make Linux insecure. I will try to show them their error, but I'll
just read the ridiculous claims first to refute all of them at once!"

For these users, you need three distinctly separate sections. Like:
"Installing software with Autopackage"
"Creatinging Autopackages"
"Compatibility and security"

It's best to have bullet points with a one or two sentence
explanation. Done properly, these will be your main argumentation
points at the booth as well, a cheat-sheet if you like. It will also
help to think (you can write them down for yourself) of refutals and
counterarguments beforehand. So when someone comes criticizing any of
the claims made, you most probably know his arguments already and have
clarifications to those. If someone tries general bashing, you can
always direct conversation to any of prepared topics, by asking a
question like "Can you tell me which of these goals and claims you
object to?"

I'll give you an example below. This is meant for the end-user section:

* try new software safely and easily
Installing autopackages does not require administrator privileges.
Thus you can safely install and try out new software without putting
your system or other desktop users at risk.

Possible refutal: but you can install from source into your home
directory as well, and check the source code while doing it!
Possible answer 1: yes you can, but you will lose desktop integration
like menus, file type associations, icons.
Possible answer 2: yes you can, but not all users are willing or even
able to install from source. Autopackage gives them yet another option
and we believe that Open Source is about having options.

---

I hoipe you get my general idea and that these suggestions were of
help. The last one for today is: watch our for repetitions, the most
common stylistical lapse. If you use the same word twice in a sentence,
you're most probably doing something wrong.

The best,

L.

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