Useful sayings

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Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
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I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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Time may be a great healer,
but it's a lousy beautician.
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Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember, amateurs built the ark,
professionals built the Titanic.
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Conscience is what hurts when everything
else feels good.
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Talk is cheap because
supply exceeds demand.
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Even if you are on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
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Politicians and diapers
have one thing in common.
They should both be changed
regularly and for the same reason.
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An optimist thinks this is
the best possible world.
A pessimist fears this is true.
> >
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There will always be death
and taxes; however, death
doesn't get worse every year.
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In just two days, tomorrow
will be yesterday.
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I am a nutritional overachiever.
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I plan on living forever.
So far, so good.
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Practice safe eating --
always use condiments.
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A day without sunshine is like night.
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It's frustrating when you know
all the answers, but nobody
bothers to ask you the questions.
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The real art of conversation is
not only to say the right thing
at the right time, but also to
leave unsaid the wrong thing
at the tempting moment.
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Brain cells come and brain cells
go, but fat cells live forever.
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Age doesn't always bring wisdom.
Sometimes it comes alone.
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Life not only begins at forty,
it also begins to show