Back by populr demand

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

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REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none. So?

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SOCIALIST

You have two cows.

The government takes one and gives it to your
 neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to
 manage his cow.

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COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you  with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

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CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
 cows.

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DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

The government taxes you to the point you have
 to sell both to support a
man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
 which was a gift from your
government.

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BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

The government takes them both, shoots one,
 milks the other, pays you for
the milk, and then pours the milk down the
drain.

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AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do
 an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised
when one cow drops dead. You spin an
announcement to the analysts stating
you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

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FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

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JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
 size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. They learn to
 travel on unbelievably crowded
trains. Most are at the top of their class at
 cow school.

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GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
 lots of beer, give excellent
quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
 Unfortunately they also
demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

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ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where
 they are.

While ambling around, you see a beautiful
 woman.
You break for lunch. Life is good.

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RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42
 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.

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TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which
 are two.

You don't milk them because you cannot touch
any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew
them up while they were in the hospital.

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IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.

They go in hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

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FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one
 best, vote for the black one.

Some people vote for both. Some people vote
 for neither. Some people can't
figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a
 bunch of guys from out-of-state
tell you which is the best-looking cow

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CALIFORNIA CORPORATION



You have millions of cows.

Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big tits.