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A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around
that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon
until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone
who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many
people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody
could do it. One day a scrawny little man wearing thick glasses and a
polyester suit came in and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try
the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said okay, grabbed
a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind
to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the
man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As
the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000, and asked the little man,
"What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or
what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS." 
Electronic Arts joins a growing list of companies -- Cyan Worlds, Sega,
There Inc. -- that invested millions of dollars in online games, only to see
disappointing sales or unfinished projects. But what's surprising about EA's
setback is that it is the world's biggest video-game software company, with
plenty of cash, talent,   muscle and patience to develop a franchise.
Despite that, it pulled the plug on UXO. 
A teacher said to her class:"Who was the first man?"George Washington," a
little boy shouted promptly."How do you make out that George Washington was
the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently."Because, " said the
little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of
his countrymen."But at this point a larger boy held up his hand."Well," said
the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?""I don't know what
his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington,
ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so,
of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."