Re: Video ad for kde - Code in

Casper Clemence <[email protected]>
Newsgroups gmane.comp.kde.events
Message-ID <AANLkTinsx8-ZN_D291W7Aj6e7qb4npjqwAqtTrogkam6__26692.1508046382$1294141660$gmane$org@mail.gmail.com>
A couple of thoughts on the following

*
*

*We are not free because we chose,*

*we choose because we are free. *

*And so you can you. Be free. Choose KDE*


Being commanded "Choose KDE" sounds a little incongruous next to "be free".
In fact it contradicts the couplet before it "We are not free because we
chose /

we choose because we are free." or could easily be seen that way.


I would favour the simpler:


*We are not free because we chose,*

*we choose because we are free.*

*
*

*Be free. *

*Be KDE*

*
*

This also removes "And so you can you" which separates the viewer from the
narrator. I think the implicit "I could be a part of that 'we'" is more
powerful than the explicit "and so could you"

 
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