You can't do anything about his behaviors, but you can learn to set boundaries and limits as to what you will and will not accept in your relationship.

You both need some real professional help in the matter and I really encourage you to keep pushing for marriage counseling to help you two get a handle on the issue and sort things out. Online Infidelity - Grace Tree Counseling - Interactive! We can't even have a real conversation anymore without getting into an argument.
I am just so sad and I am finding myself rather more depressed as time goes on.
The feelings, attitudes and even the extent of the involvement can be the same, as well as the consequences for the marriage it affects.
The problem is him and his actions. My oldest has Tourette's syndrome and ADHD.
Even if you do so, there is no guarantee that he'll agree to things.
I think it has something to do with the fact that I am so sad and depressed about my problems with my marriage that I almost take it out on him. The feelings, attitudes and even the extent of the involvement can be the same, as well as the consequences for the marriage it affects. Though medication might help you cope with things in the short run, you'd just be medicating a symptom instead of working on the cause. He "looks" for them online and just chats with them, at times rather sexually. I do not know what to do or where to start.
He has to want that as well. You're dealing with a very painful situation, and sadly one that is not unique to you. He is at the mild end of TS thankfully. Even if you do so, there is no guarantee that he'll agree to things.
Given what you said about confronting the issue before it sounds as if it's not going to be an easy road or a quick-fix.

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