re: 3.4 press release

Hi Cees--

	I like it!

	Here are some corrections I'd make:

> With SqueakMap, Squeak users are now able to load additional
> functionality from the Internet much like Perl's CPAN or Debian's
> APT system.

	I would put a comma after "Internet".

> SqueakMap will make it easier to distribute various configurations
> of Squeak, ranging from the 'bare bones' (for embedded applications)
> to 'all bells and whistles' (for education and new users).

	I would remove "the".

> Apart from a personal user environment, Squeak is also capable of
> acting in various networking structures ranging from classic
> client-server work like webserving to peer-to-peer collaboration
> environments with 3D interfaces.

	I would rephrase that as "In addition to providing a personal user
environment, Squeak can serve in various networking structures, ranging
from classic client-server configurations (such as webserving) to
peer-to-peer collaboration environments with 3-D interfaces.". Something
shorter might be better, but I'd have no qualms releasing that.


	thanks!

-C

--
Craig Latta
improvisational musical informaticist
[email protected]
www.netjam.org/resume
Smalltalkers do: [:it | All with: Class, (And love: it)]
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Subject: Re: [Squeakfoundation]re: 3.4 press release
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On Thu, 2003-03-06 at 23:08, Craig Latta wrote:
> 	I would put a comma after "Internet".
Corrected.
> 	I would remove "the".
Corrected.

> "In addition to providing a personal user
> environment, Squeak can serve in various networking structures, ranging
> from classic client-server configurations (such as webserving) to
> peer-to-peer collaboration environments with 3-D interfaces.".=20
Flows a bit better so I've taken this version.

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