RE: Re: Summing up and moving on (I hope)

Dale,

> You mention very few people in this paragraph, and those few people
> are generally acted upon rather than taking action.  "Disdain" and
> "perception" and "connotation" are floating around in the paragraph,
> without anyone disdaining or perceiving or connoting.

This is really quite good. I knew what it "sounded like" but not why.
 
> Perhaps if you can be clearer about who disdained, perceived, or
> connoted, Ron (and possibly other people) would be less likely to
> attribute those actions to you.

A wise suggestion. Negative judgements that aren't clearly owned are 
always suspect. Often they are judgements that the speaker can't 
express directly for reasons of fear of reprisal or disapproval.

> Here's something I do to strengthen my writing.  For each action in
> the paragraph, ask yourself who is doing the action.  Then put that
> person into the sentence, and show the person taking the action. 
> Notice that some nouns are verbs in disguise.  "Perception," for
> example, is a nounified form of "perceive."  Change these nouns to
> verbs that show action, and put someone into the sentence to do the
> action.

So passive expressions may mask passive agression!

Charlie Poole
[email protected]
www.pooleconsulting.com
www.charliepoole.org




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