Edit/Approval - ExOfficio Storm Logic Vest - Kathy Waters
| Newsgroups | gmane.culture.backpacking.backpackgeartest |
|---|---|
| Message-ID | <[email protected]> |
Kathy, A few edits below in the standard EDIT/Edit/Comment format. After revising upload to http://tinyurl.com/pvauodp Back at you on the Big Agnes shortly. Cheers, Richard ___________ ###Listed Weight: 12.5 oz (354 g) ### Edit/Comment: Does ExOfficio give a size for its measurements? (Usually it's Medium.) ### * Interior 5 Pocket Travel System w/Two security zip hand pockets and one interior pocket to creat a travel pillow ### EDIT: create a travel pillow [spelling] ### * Care Instructions: Machine wash cold, gentle cycle, non detergent soap, ### Edit: non-detergent [with a hyphen] ### I spent most of my time in the south central region of Colorado that I can home.### EDIT: call home ###Over these 5 months, I estimate I've covered 25 miles (40 km) backpacking/hiking/snowshoeing and walking. ### Edit: This is style, so up to you, but I'd move up the third following paragraph ["This makes the vest . . ."] to follow this immediately. 25 miles on the trail isn't much use. ### Each pocket has a sewn-flat fabric label with the appropriate icon and written descriptive "word" (i.e. "protect" and a pair of glasses) on it and are secured with a zipper ### EDIT: is secured ["Each pocket . . . is"] ### The Storm Logic however, does it differently. ### Edit: Either no commas or two [one more after "however"] would make this read much better. ### pulled out stitches or - quelle horreurs - torn the vest.### Edit: Foreign terms are normally in italics. ### The have continued to be easy to operate - have not caught on the linings - ### EDIT: They have ### Wearing a vest means, my arms are free to move more vigorously and ### Edit: Delete the comma.