Re: Welcome new members

Dale,

>  > I view interpersonal conflict as an opportunity for growth and
>  > learning for everyone involved.  I am curious about how this
>  > relates to Dale's ideas about resistance.
> 
> What relationships do you see so far?  What differences do you 
> see, if any?

The first relationship that comes to mind is between interpersonal conflict 
and resistance.  Some of the resistance that has been discussed here has been 
internal resistance.  While both internal resistance and interpersonal 
conflict are learning opportunities, they are different beasts.  On the other 
hand, external resistance and interpersonal conflict overlap quite a bit in 
my mind.

The perspective of "resistance-as-a-resource" is what interests me.  It is a 
perspective I have been working to internalize for all of my professional 
life.  I have found this perspective to be extemely beneficial in conflict 
resolution and interpersonal communication. 
 
>  > I would like to see resistance in a different light.
> 
> How do you see resistance now?

Intellectually, I see resistance as a resource.  Emotionally (e.g., in the 
real world), I sometimes struggle to see resistance as anything other than a 
roadblock.

> What's leading you to want to see resistance in a different light?

The intellectual understanding of resistance is a resource.

> Your pointer to the book Narrative Therapy (by Freedman and 
> Combs) has been very helpful to me.  It got me thinking about 
> stories, and how we use stories to make meaning.

As a result of my studies and practice of narrative therapy, I find stories 
to be a helpful metaphor to describe how we humans construct our realities.

> The very word 
> resistance is, I think, a hint about some story we're telling -- 
> to call a behavior resistance means that we're thinking about the 
> behavior in relation to something we have asked the person to do. 
>   "I want Fred to take out the garbage.  Fred is resisting."  We 
> already have a sequence of related events, a skeleton for a 
> story, complete with tension.

I agree, the word "resistance" carries a lot of meaning with it.

> Recently I've been exploring the idea that a relationship is a 
> story, a story we use to make meaning of our interactions.  I 
> think this is a rich vein to explore.

Indeed.  Your email has made me realize that I have a story about Dale even 
though I have never met you face-to-face.  I wonder how much my story will 
change when we meet in the real world.

--Dave

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