Familiarity and change

According to Jerry Weinberg, Virginia Satir once said, "People
prefer familiarity to comfort."

In a recent conversation on another mailing list, that phrase
came up.  Alistair Cockburn, a very influential change agent in
the software development industry, said, "I don't know about you,
but that phrase, besides ringing true, frightens the bejeebers
out of me."

My initial reaction was that it doesn't frighten me at all.  But
I wasn't sure /why/ it didn't frighten me, given that I
frequently advocate one change or another.  So I pondered.

I think it doesn't frighten me because my persuasion style
includes ways to make change familiar to people.  I never thought
about the things I do in those terms until I read Alistair's
message, but as I look at how I encourage change, some of it is
about making the unfamiliar familiar.

Here's an example of one of a time when I encouraged someone to
change:
http://www.dhemery.com/cwd/2003/12/a_story_of_resistance_resolved.html

Though I wasn't advocating any particular change in that
situation, my questions had the effect of framing Susan's problem
so that it was suddenly very familiar to her.  And once the
problem became familiar, she knew exactly how to solve it.

Another example:
http://www.dhemery.com/cwd/2003/05/after_all_weve_done_for_them.html

As I look at that story now, I think that Paul's epiphany at the
end was largely about suddenly reframing his customer relations
issue in a familiar light.  And then he knew what to do.

An example of something I do often:  find safe ways for people to
try whatever I'm advocating.  A small demonstration, maybe, or a
"toy" situation to practice on, where failure doesn't matter.
Making it safe for people to try the new idea in a small way
invites them to get a teeny tiny bit of experience, from which
the new idea becomes a teeny tiny bit more familiar.

Also, stories (like the ones I linked to above) sometimes make
new ideas more familiar.

I thought this may be a fruitful topic here, a way to think about
resistance:  What if we attend purposefully to familiarity, and
the ways in which familiarity influences the way people respond
to change?  What new ideas does that give us for how to encourage
change, and how to respond to resistance?

So what are some of the things you do that make change more
familiar to people?

Dale

-- 
Dale Emery, Consultant
Inspiring Leadership for Software People
Web:    http://www.dhemery.com
Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd

That's not an optical illusion; it just looks like one. --Dale Emery



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