Re: Being a Better Resister

Hi Ron,

> I've seen two basic types of poor handling of resistance.  The
> first is lash out and try to discredit the resister, the second
> is to ignore the resistance.

Discrediting the resister is very efficient.  If I can discredit
the person, I don't have to discredit each individual thing the
person says.

> When I tried to call attention to this (first within the team,
> then through escalation), the architects (from a very large
> three letter company) attacked my understanding of the
> business, then my understanding of the architecture, then
> personally attacked my approach to participating in the
> project.

"Attack" is a strong word.  I'm imagining that if people are
attacking so strongly, they must be feeling threatened in some
way.  Do you think they were feeling threatened?  Do you know
what threat (or loss) they were perceiving?

> When I tried to escalate the concerns within my "chain of
> command", I met the other method.  They agreed with my
> concerns, but didn't want to fight our three letter consultant,
> so asked me to "write a white paper" with my concerns.  In
> other words, stick my neck out with no support whatsoever. More
> fun!

I'm wondering if they were trying to find some support from you,
in the form of a white paper, to help them raise the issues with
the consultant.  Was "fight" their word?  Do you know what led
them to think of raising concerns as a fight?

> I would like to be more effective at getting to the root behind
> the resistance and not allow the message get lost in the
> delivery.

If people aren't telling you what's at the root of their
resistance, or if you aren't trusting that what they are telling
you is the root, that's a clue about your relationship.  If
that's true, then something about the relationship will have to
improve before you can get to the real issues.

Dale

-- 
Web:    http://www.dhemery.com
Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/journal (Conversations with Dale)



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