The Straight Dope 09/24/2004

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
http://www.straightdope.com

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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 09/24/2004

Dear Cecil:

For years I've tolerated my friend's need for a strict vegan diet. I am
lectured nearly daily about the benefits of veganism and the injustice
of my murderous, meat-craving lifestyle. It's gotten to the point that
we can't go out anywhere decent because there are few places
vegan-friendly enough to suit his tastes. He has many redeeming
qualities, so our friendship remains strong despite our philosophical
differences. However, if there were an issue that would be a deal
breaker, it would be his terrible, terrible gas. Its pure, unmitigated
evil is indescribable. I'm pretty sure that in a highly concentrated
form it could change laws of physics. Just god-awful. To make a dumb
question long, are the rumors about vegan body odor, and specifically
vegan gas, really true? Or is my friend just a naturally awful-smelling
individual? --Scott, via e-mail

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Cecil replies:

Notwithstanding your assurances about redeeming qualities, Scott, I have
to wonder what's keeping this relationship going. It can't be your
friend's pleasant personality, since he continually hectors you and
accuses you of sordid crimes. It isn't his scintillating conversation,
unless lectures on your murderous meat-craving lifestyle are your idea
of diverting chat. It's obviously not his attractive physical presence.
So what are you getting out of this--stock tips? Weekly payments? Great
head?

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040924.html

STAFF REPORT

Dear Straight Dope:

My boyfriend is a trivia freak, and he has recently gotten me hooked on
the Straight Dope website. We frequently have arguments about his more
unbelievable pieces of trivia. Recently he told me spiders run on a sort
of hydraulic system and that's why their legs bunch up when they die.
Please help me prove him wrong--it would give me so much joy to be right
just once. --Rachael, Darwin, Australia

SDSTAFF Doug replies:

I'm afraid your boyfriend is partially correct on this one. All
arthropods, be they spiders, scorpions, mites, centipedes, lobsters,
barnacles, pillbugs, or insects, need some internal hydraulics in order
to move their appendages properly. Your boyfriend wins on a
technicality, though . . .

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mspiderhydraulic.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 02/01/1985

Dear Cecil: 

Is it possible, as a method of pest control, to produce a virus which
doesn't kill the critter, but only sterilizes it? That way the little
pests could all infect each other and we'd be rid of them in no time.
How about it, Cecil? --Have to Know, Chicago

Cecil replies:  

Sounds like the greatest idea since the Black Death, H. Starting
situation: we've got bugs! Ending situation: we've got bugs with
germs! I am not seeing that this is an improvement. 

Luckily, a less malign solution to the bug question has been
developed: the first practical cockroach contraceptives. I'm serious.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_066.html

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