The Straight Dope 07/22/2005

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
http://www.straightdope.com

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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 07/22/2005

Dear Cecil:

So I'm watching Steven Spielberg's remake of The War of
the Worlds, and it's a pretty good movie with great
special effects up to the point where the creepy guy with
the shotgun invites Tom Cruise and his daughter to take
shelter in the basement. [Warning: spoiler follows.
--C.A.] After that you know exactly what's going to
happen (icky confrontation with creepy guy, aliens
succumb to deadly earth diseases). While waiting for this
to play out, I got to thinking: How likely is it that
invaders from space would be vulnerable to terrestrial
microbes? I know Native Americans were wiped out by
smallpox and so on, but they were the same species as
European colonists. Animals get lots of diseases we don't
get or get only in mild form (distemper, hoof-and-mouth
disease). OK, the movie's fiction, but is there any
reason to think earthly bacteria and viruses would be
able to get their hooks into a species from another
planet? --Diane, Beulah, Michigan

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Cecil replies:

From a technical standpoint let's say it's not out of the
question. As a practical matter, however, no. I feel it's
important that the populace be made aware of this, or at
least the subset thereof capable of grasping the truly
big picture: If you're looking to save humankind's butt
in the coming intergalactic conflict, don't put your
faith in the germs.

First let's deal with what I take to be the crux of your
objection, namely that earthly and alien life-forms would
likely be so radically different that germs preying on
one would be impotent against the other. Here we need to
distinguish between the two most common types of
pathogen . . .

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/050722.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC #1 - 08/18/1978

Dear Straight Dope:

Three desperate B-school students and I need to know: are
there really alligators living in the sewers of New York?
If so, why? If not, how did this vicious rumor get
started? --Baby Needs New Shoes, Chicago  

Cecil replies: 

New York is home to a lot of reptiles, babe, but nowadays
most of them hang out on 42nd Street. At one time,
however, things were different. On February 10, 1935, the
New York Times carried an astonishing report that several
teenagers had dragged a live eight-foot alligator out of
a sewer in Harlem the previous evening. The kids
supposedly found the gator while shoveling the remains of
a recent snowfall into a manhole--a project that strikes
me as suspiciously civic-minded, given the reputation of
Big Apple youth, but never mind. The boys first saw the
alligator thrashing in the sewer ten feet below street
level, and decided to drag it up with a clothesline. Once
on dry land, however, the frightened animal began
snapping about with its mighty jaws. The teenagers
promptly beat it to death with shovels, foreshadowing the
fate of numerous visitors to Harlem in the years to come. 

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_339.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC #2 - 11/09/1987

Dear Cecil: 

I was in the fourth grade when the first Kennedy
half-dollars came out. My friend Dominic Riccutti (who
supposedly knew everything about everything) told me
those little markings on Kennedy's neck were there
because some Communist agents had broken into the mint
and engraved the hammer and sickle on the original mold
and it hadn't been caught in time before the new coins
were struck. Well, that was over 20 years ago and I
recently got a new Kennedy half-dollar at the 7-Eleven
and the markings are still there! In all this time
they've kept changing the dates but they've never cleaned
up Kennedy's neck. Is this all part of some pinko plot to
subvert America by secretly marking our coins? --Andy H.,
Arlington, Virginia  

Cecil replies:  

I think after 20 years, Andy, the hypothesis might have 
formed in my mind that maybe this Riccutti kid was putting 
me on. The alleged commie graffito is really the initials of the
man who designed the front side of the coin--GR, for Gilroy
Roberts, former chief engraver at the U.S. Mint. Gil's
monogram looks like two stylized G's set back-to-back,
and under the influence of liquor or bad companions I
suppose you could make it out to be a pair of hammers and
sickles. The other side of the coin was designed by Frank
Gasparro; his FG can be found just under the eagle's left
thigh--not the place I'd choose to put my monogram (when
was the last time you saw an eagle take a bath?), but I
guess Frank wasn't one to make a fuss. You want a real
scandal, check out the "3172" in the bushes on the $5
bill. If that isn't the handiwork of the Illuminati, my
name ain't Cecil Adams. 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_340.html

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