The Straight Dope 09/30/2005

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
http://www.straightdope.com

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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 09/30/2005

Dear Cecil:

Recently I gave a jump to someone who'd left his car
headlights on and drained his battery. Because I have a
healthy respect for anything containing moving parts,
flammable liquids, and battery acid, I followed the
directions for giving a jump in my owner's manual to the
letter. These instructions run to seven pages. To summarize,
they say to turn on the heater blower in both vehicles to
prevent damage from voltage surges, turn off all other
switches and lights in both vehicles, connect and disconnect
the jumper cables in the order specified (positive terminal
of dead battery, positive of booster battery, negative of
booster battery, body BUT NOT negative terminal of dead
car), and let the booster car run for several minutes before
trying to start the dead car. The guys from whom I had to
borrow the jumper cables treated me like an idiot, insisting
that they just slap the cables on in any order, doing
nothing more than going from red to red and black to black
without bothering with other precautions. My question is
this: Is it really necessary to be anal when jump-starting a
car? What could happen if I used the slapdash method? Are
there any real-life instances of terrible consequences of
haphazard jump-starting (but spare me the gory details if
the answer is yes)? --Connie, via e-mail

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Cecil replies:

Don't worry, ma'am. The scarred-eyeball photo I found online
wouldn't reproduce very well on newsprint anyway. Let's just
stick to the facts:

(1) Yes, there are real-life instances of terrible
consequences of haphazard jump-starting. They mostly involve
eye injuries due to car batteries exploding in the faces of
mopes who just slapped the cables on. I haven't been able to
firmly ascertain how often this happens, which has some
bearing on how seriously you should take that stern advice
in your owner's manual. But it's not like somebody just made
the whole thing up.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/050930.html

STAFF REPORT

Dear Straight Dope:

What's the deal with using the brand name "Acme" to denote
something that is generic or of poor quality? Although I'm
thinking about the frequent appearance of this name in
Looney Tunes cartoons, I've seen it elsewhere. Was (or is)
it a real company? Where did the name come from? Finally,
why didn't the coyote ever catch the road runner? --Nimah
Mazaheri

SDSTAFF Ken replies:

Acme is a perfectly fine word. It comes from the Greek akme,
meaning "highest point" or "summit." Warner Brothers
cartoons use the name ironically-- the Acme Company products
the coyote is constantly purchasing to help catch the road
runner are anything but highest quality. Despite the
negative publicity, lots of Acme Companies are still
around--there's a whole column of them in the Chicago phone
book, plus an Acme, Michigan, near Traverse City, though no
coyotes or road runners are native to that area. 

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/macme.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 08/29/1986

Dear Cecil: 

Recently, while watching a weekend TV news program, I saw a
short report which was treated as a light human interest
piece by the reporter. It seems to me, however, that if the
thrust of the story were to prove true, it would have
revolutionary implications--maybe even affect the fate of
civilization. On the other hand, it could also be a big
scam.  Here are the facts. Mr. Joseph Newman is a
self-proclaimed country boy and inventor from Georgia. Using
ordinary materials and basic magnetics as a catalyst, he
claims to have designed and built a machine that produces
more power than it consumes. The result is said to be pure,
nonpolluting energy at almost no cost. Mr. Newman believes a
machine of the same design, weighing about 300 pounds, could
satisfy all the energy needs of an average home. However,
Mr. Newman's application for a patent was rejected by the
patent office because it "smacks of perpetual motion," which
scientists declare is impossible. Mr. Newman claims to have
made a new discovery which disproves currently held theories
of magnetics and which might even necessitate a change in
our understanding of physics. Cecil, please enlighten your
loyal readers. --G.K., Washington, D.C.  

Cecil replies: 

Love to, G., but some days it's like trying to light up the
Grand Canyon with a flashlight. Take this Newman business.
You send people to college, where presumably they learn that
perpetual motion machines--devices that produce something
for nothing--violate the most fundamental notions about how
the world works (and to hell with physics, I'm talking
common sense). Yet the first time they see some crackpot on
TV they're ready to believe the laws of the universe have
been suddenly repealed. And they wonder why I get cranky. 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_401.html

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