The Straight Dope 07/21/2006

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
http://www.straightdope.com

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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 07/21/2006

Dear Cecil:

Is there an effective way to get rid of chilblains? I have some boring
little ones, located mostly on my right hand, with a couple on the left.
The doctor says I possibly have bad circulation, but they will probably
go away if I eat properly and avoid sudden changes in temperature. Well,
that hasn't done a thing. Web sites offer such unhelpful advice as "Do
not place feet directly on radiators" and suggest leg warmers and
thermal underwear. Is there anything else I could try? I feel that I
can't just attribute them to the lousy climate in England. --Catherine
Seale

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Cecil replies:

The average reader isn't wondering how to get rid of chilblains,
Catherine. She's wondering what the hell chilblains are. Didn't they go
out with gout, consumption, and lumbago? Obviously not. (For that
matter, gout, consumption, and lumbago haven't gone away either. Gout, a
particularly painful form of arthritis, is caused by knifelike crystals
of uric acid in the joints. Consumption is now known as tuberculosis,
and lumbago, or lower back pain, is now more commonly described in terms
of the underlying condition, e.g., a slipped disk, or else called "lower
back pain.")

Chilblains, also called perniosis or pernio, are a skin inflammation,
most commonly seen on the fingers and toes, caused by prolonged exposure
to low but not freezing temps and damp. They're considered rare in the
U.S. (less than .01 percent of the population is afflicted), where we've
got good central heating. They're more common in England (10 percent
annual incidence), where, no disrespect intended, you don't.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/060721.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC #1 - 05/05/1989

Dear Cecil:

A few weeks ago I got a check for 25 cents from Illinois Bell. The check
was drawn on a bank in Lake Lillian, Minnesota. Do you know how obscure
Lake Lillian is? (Of course you do. You know everything. I'm just asking
rhetorically.) It's so obscure it's not in the Minnesota key to my road
map book, which includes such metropolises as Dundas, population 422.
It's so obscure the person I talked to at the Minnesota tourism office
couldn't find it on her computer (she said to call back when Jerry gets
back from lunch). Why would a major corporation have its checking
account in such an obscure bank when there are lots of banks right in
the neighborhood? --V.M., Chicago  

Dear V.:  

Maybe they want to head off the lunchtime rush of people cashing
their 25-cent checks. Illinois Bell was not very forthcoming on the 
subject. The company says it employs a contractor to handle its
refunds, and the contractor uses the Lake Lillian bank because it's
cheaper, somehow. I believe that, of course. I believe everything.
Let me merely speak in generalities, therefore, of what it usually
means when a big company uses a tiny boondock bank. I refer to
the arcane world of corporate cash management.  

The idea behind managing cash is simple: speed it up coming in,
slow it down going out. The boondock bank stunt is an example of
the latter. It's called "remote disbursement," and it's so ridiculously
snaky it deserves some kind of award. You know how sometimes
you'll write a check to somebody when you haven't got any money
in your checking account, then rush to the bank the next morning
to put some money in before the check clears? Same idea.  

Here's what happens. 

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_167.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 06/26/1992

Dear Cecil: 

My friend Dave is trying to organize a tontine. He says it's very
simple. We each put an equal sum of money into an investment pool.
Whoever outlives everybody else gets the money plus the accumulated
earnings. What a strange concept! Put up your money, then hope for the
ultimate misfortune to visit the other members of the group. I'm
fascinated by the idea of it. What other chance do you have to gain from
the deaths of your friends and acquaintances? It's the ultimate lottery.
Who came up with this idea? Was it the forerunner of our current life
insurance system? Have there been any famous tontines? Has anybody
really raked in big bucks by winning a tontine? Should I join? --Barry
Gardner, Washington, D.C.  

Dear Barry:  

This guy Dave--he doesn't have an odd gleam in his eye, does he?
Tontines (pronounced TON- teens) are strange, but not as strange
as he makes out. You don't have to wait until only one guy
(presumably Dave) remains alive before they start paying off. On the
contrary, they start paying off right away--the classic tontine basically
is a weird annuity. You pay a specified nonreturnable sum of money
and receive an annual interest payment for the rest of your life.   

The twist is that the annual proceeds of the investment pool are divided
among a smaller and smaller number of people as the participants die
off. The last few people alive do very well indeed and the last guy makes
out like a bandit. The last survivor of one French tontine received an
annual income of 73,000 livres from an original investment of 300 livres.
She was 96. 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_172.html

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