The Straight Dope 09/08/2006

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
http://www.straightdope.com

You are subscribed as: [[email protected]]

To unsubscribe CLICK on the URL below this line:
mailto:[email protected]
If you can't "click" above, then send a blank email to:
[email protected]
____________________________________________
THE STRAIGHT DOPE 09/08/2006

Dear Cecil:

I would love to believe the legends about the Mandan Indians, reputed to
have descended from an ill-fated colony of Welshmen who arrived in ships
in the 1100s. Their leader was a prince named Madoc. Are you going to
burst my bubble? Or is there something to this? -- Bill Morse, Whitefish
Bay, Wisconsin

~~~~~~
Looking for the perfect gift for that wedding, birthday, or
bar mitzvah? Straight Dope books are the very thing! 
See http://www.straightdope.com/store.html
~~~~~~

Cecil replies:

Welsh Indians? Dylan Thomas, Richard Burton, and Cochise? Sorry, ain't
seeing it, and I have a hard time imagining anybody ever could. But some
did. The Madoc-Mandan yarn is one of many far-fetched stories about
European or even extraterrestrial origins for indigenous American
culture, the idea evidently being that actual Native Americans were too
backward to have come up with this stuff on their own. The Welsh angle
is distinguished mainly by its persistence, having bubbled up like swamp
gas for more than 400 years. I have no illusions about being able to
stamp it out now. But it lacks any basis in fact. 

Owain Gwynedd, who died in 1170, was a real Welsh prince, but his
putative son Madoc goes unmentioned in contemporary annals. Later a
seafarer named Madoc, not necessarily related and possibly mythical,
showed up in medieval Welsh literature. One story has him colonizing an
island paradise, location unspecified. But overtly fantastic elements-he
also visits a magnetic island-mark this as medieval fiction. 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/060908.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC #1 -- 10/28/1988

Dear Cecil:

I heard about a strange sexual practice the other day that I hope you
can tell me more about. It seems a boy was found dead with a rope around
his neck, but he hadn't purposely killed himself. Apparently he was
masturbating at the time of his death and hanged himself in order to
heighten the sexual sensation. The radio announcer called it an
autoerotic suicide and said it is not uncommon. I've never heard of it.
Can you tell me more? --Desiree Blough, Santa Barbara, California 

Cecil replies:

Time for a walk on the weird side, kids. Autoerotic asphyxiation--
"suicide" is a misnomer, since death is usually accidental--is in
fact fairly common. One researcher estimates there are at least
50 deaths annually nationwide. The victims are mostly young
males; evidently if you live long enough to become an old male you start
getting a partner to help you, although it's quite dangerous even so. 

Autoerotic asphyxiation arose out of the observation that men executed
by hanging often got an erection and sometimes ejaculated. It's
described in detail in de Sade's Justine and is mentioned in Beckett's
Waiting for Godot. Why it works is unclear. 

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_218.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 07/28/1989

Dear Cecil: 

Everyone knows that nowadays artificial insemination is used to breed
everything from cattle and horses to rhinos, gorillas, and humans.   I
know how they get sperm from humans, but how do they get it from bulls
and male gorillas? Do they show them dirty heifer pictures? Gorilla
porn? Do they use blow-up female rhino dolls? The mind boggles. --S.J.
Cowdery, Dallas  

Cecil replies:

Go boggle on your own time, pal.   

In keeping with the Straight Dope tradition of brutal frankness,
however, I may as well tell you that perhaps the most common
method of sperm collection involves an artificial vagina. 

I had thought to edify the Teeming Millions with a do-it-yourself
version of this technique taken from an animal breeding manual. 
But on second thought it's too icky for words.  

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_222.html

____________________________________________
Here's how you can get your OWN FREE Subscription:
Send a blank mailto:[email protected]
____________________________________________
Copyright 1995 - 2006 Chicago Reader, Inc.
All Rights Reserved
You may forward this document by email ONLY if you
include the entire document INCLUDING the information
at the bottom of this publication
____________________________________________
Visit our good friends at Joke A Day http://www.jokeaday.com
They're kind enough to mail THE STRAIGHT DOPE for us.
Join the World's Largest Daily Humor List and receive daily
laughs in your email by sending mailto:[email protected]