The Straight Dope 06/01/2007

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
http://www.straightdope.com
 
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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 06/01/2007
 
Dear Cecil:

In Life of Pi, Yann Martel describes a floating island of vegetation with
its own ecosystem that could be boarded and had animals living on it out
in the middle of the ocean. It seems far-fetched, but does anything like
this exist? — Tim M., UK

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Cecil replies:

Not to deprecate the novelist's art, Tim, but Life of Pi also speaks of
carnivorous islands whose trees bear fruit containing human teeth. Mini
terrestrial ecosystems adrift in midocean are likewise too cool to be
real. However, floating islands of more modest scope do exist, typically
in freshwater where there's less wave and tidal action.

One example is the peat batteries of the Okefenokee Swamp in Georgia and
Florida. These form when large masses of peat lying on the floor of the
swamp accumulate enough methane and carbon dioxide to become buoyant and
rise to the surface. Sometimes more than a quarter acre in extent and up
to six feet thick, peat batteries can form a base for shrubs and even
large trees.

Floating islands aren't limited to swamps . . .
 
For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/070601.html
 
STAFF REPORT
 
Dear Straight Dope:
 
When I was an undergrad, I had a conversation with a grad student about
our favorite cartoons. When I mentioned the Smurfs, she flipped out, said
they were anti-Semitic, advocated Communism, and gave me the cold shoulder
for the rest of the semester. What gives? —yih

SDSTAFF Gfactor replies with assistance from Valteron:

"Papa Smurf" character (Mark Quirk): [The Smurfs have] got their little
colony group together where everybody hangs in their one little group and
everybody's right together and everything flows real well. But anytime any
one of them tries to take off and do their own little individual trip …
that's when Mr. Evil comes down off the hill and puts the stops on them.

"Scooby Doo Philosopher" character (R. Malice): Smurfs are blue and …
Smurfs are getting kids used to seeing blue people … kids see blue people,
they like, relate to Smurfs, and they relate to blue people when Krishna
comes about. —Slacker (1991)

A semiotic tour de force if we've ever seen one. There are several
conspiracy theories about the Smurfs but none of them makes much sense. Do
you suppose the Smurfs-are-anti-Semitic bit was the grad student's way of
… dumping you?

We might as well start at the beginning. 

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/msmurfs.htm

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 04/22/1988
 
Dear Cecil: 
 
Enclosed for your enjoyment is a bottle of "Doctor Bronner's 18-in-1 Pure
Castile Soap," which you can get at any health food store. The soap is
great, but you'll note the label is crammed with weird religious ravings.
What's the poop, Scoop? Is Doctor B. really a "master chemist and Essene
rabbi"? What's the story behind his company, All-One-God-Faith, Inc.?
And--this one is urgent, Cece--how about the unusual birth control method
Dr. B. recommends? Should I throw out my diaphragm and stock up on lemons
and Vaseline?--Sourpuss, Chicago

Dear Sourpuss:

Not unless you like unusually thick lemonade. As you can probably tell
from the copy (can you imagine a slogan like, "Eternal Father, Eternal
One! Exceptions eternally? Absolute none!" on the side of a Tide box?),
"Dr." Emanuel H. Bronner is inhabiting a different plane of being from the
rest of us. So don't take anything he says too literally.

Bronner is an 85-year old (as of 1993) German immigrant who hangs out in
Escondido, California. He's not an MD or strictly speaking a rabbi, but
claims he's got the equivalent of a PhD in chemistry, which I guess makes
him a master chemist. He's also not your average soap maker. Whereas
Messrs. Procter and Gamble dream (well, dreamt) of enzymes and long-chain
fatty acids, Bronner dreams of world peace.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_386.html

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