The Straight Dope 01/17/2003

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
http://www.straightdope.com

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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 01/17/2003

Dear Cecil:

In the early 60s my parents subscribed to Reader's
Digest. One story in there, just before JFK was
assassinated, was about some Russian cosmonauts who
were stranded in an expanding orbit around earth--
they were slowly but surely pulling away from the
earth and there was no means of retrieval. This was
supposedly documented by some ham radio operators 
in the free world, who had picked up radio
communications from the doomed cosmonauts. The general
thrust of the article was, "Look what those evil
commies have done now--they don't even care about
their own." Assuming that the article was a crock, 
what was the incident that precipitated the story--
or am I the only one who hasn't forgotten about those
poor fellers? --chuckleberry, Calgary, Alberta

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Cecil replies:

Maybe you didn't forget, Chuck, but you got the details
a little cockeyed. Here's the deal: (1) The story didn't
appear prior to the JFK assassination, but rather in the
April 1965 issue--you can read a transcription at
www.lostcosmonauts.com. (2) While ham radio operators
were peripherally involved, most of the alleged
transmissions were picked up by two brothers in Italy
who operated an extraordinary homemade space listening
post with a 40-foot octagonal dish antenna. (3) The
brothers claimed to have heard signals from not one
but three troubled Soviet spacecraft over a seven-month
period. Their reports don't correspond to any known
accidents suffered by the Soviet manned space program.
But the Russians did cover up at least one cosmonaut
death during the 60s and went to bizarre lengths to
expunge other cosmonauts from official histories.
So if a few folks insist the Russians still haven't
come clean about their early space disasters (see
above Web site), it's not like they're complete lunatics.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/030117.html

STAFF REPORT

Dear Straight Dope:

I want to clear up a question about a certain
Eskimo social custom. The question is whether
Eskimos loan their wives to strangers. I have
heard this claim in various social gatherings
as an example of how we might resolve jealousy
issues, but I am skeptical and wonder whether
this is an urban legend or has specific
contextual constraints. --Akbar

SDSTAFF bibliophage replies:

I guess I wasn't the only kid who ever dreamed of
running away to join the Eskimos. I notice you use
the present tense "loan." Did you have travel plans
in case I gave the right answer? Sorry to disappoint,
but the Eskimos have gone and let Christianity ruin
a beautiful thing. Since the coming of the
missionaries, that sort of thing just doesn't happen
any more. Besides which, it never really worked
quite the way a certain sixteen-year-old used
to imagine. 

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/meskimowifeswap.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 02/26/1982

Dear Cecil: 

I was idly reading a Grape-Nuts package the other
day and was struck by the fact that the
ingredients seem to have nothing to do with either
grapes or nuts. Reading the fine print, I see that
it's really "grape nuts brand natural wheat &
barley cereal," etc., but the type sizes jump
around madly and any normally myopic person would
just see the "grape nuts." So here are my
questions: (1) Can I market my "100% Lean Beef
brand desiccated corn husks" without getting in
trouble with the consumer protection people, the
FTC, et. al.? (I assume anything I do will get me
in trouble with Ralph Nader.) (2) If I can't, how
can the Post division of General Foods? (3) In any
case, how did they come to call them Grape-Nuts?
-- Winfield S., Chicago

Cecil replies:  
Your corn husk scheme shows a certain evil ingenuity,
Win--I have come to expect this from the Teeming
Millions--but unfortunately you can't market it,
because the Federal Trade Commission would promptly
slap you with a cease-and-desist order for promulgating
advertising with a "tendency to deceive." (Although
you never know. The way things have been going lately,
they might give you an award and appoint you commissioner.)
In the early years of the FTC, an equally ingenious
predecessor of yours tried to sell Ice Cream brand bars
that did not, in fact, contain any ice cream, but he was
shot down forthwith. 

So how does Post get away with it? Here we must delve
into the mysteries of history (rhymes, doesn't it?). 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_147.html

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