The Straight Dope 01/09/2004

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 01/09/2004

Dear Cecil:

Am I a moron for believing that "mole people" exist in
New York City's underground? The mole people, as
documented in an eponymous 1993 book by Jennifer Toth,
are homeless people who live in subway tunnels, sucking
down electricity and other resources for free a la
Ellison's Invisible Man. Is Toth lying? Hallucinating?
What documentation is there?
-- Gina G., via the Internet

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Cecil replies:

Can't blame you for being skeptical. Parts of Toth's book
read like something out of Dickens. I didn't venture into
the tunnels myself, but I did speak to Toth, who was a
Los Angeles Times intern when she wrote the book. I also
corroborated some of her facts with other sources. While
one can be certain of nothing in this deceitful world,
I'm reasonably satisfied that the events in her book,
God help us, happened as she described them.

The Mole People: Life in the Tunnels Beneath New York
City details Toth's early-90s encounters with several
dozen of what she estimated at the time to be 5,000
homeless people living beneath the streets of New
York, mostly in subway and railroad tunnels.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040109.html

STAFF REPORT

Dear Straight Dope:

What exactly is the plural of penis? I would say penises,
but it seems too simple and obvious. Is it penis, like
deer, or maybe peni, like fungi?
 --Sissy, Emerald Isle, NC

SDSTAFF bibliophage replies:

If you have more than one, you should be writing to
Ripley's and not to the Straight Dope. Heck, Sissy,
if you have even one, the first thing you should
do is change your name to Buddy.

For more, see: 

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mplurals.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 01/22/1982

Dear Cecil: 

I would like to get a little info about what's involved
in making the "music" that's sold by Muzak, which is
impossible to avoid if you go into any McDonald's,
elevator, etc. It's all around us, but so mysterious.
I'm told that it's made in Japan, by heavily sedated
Oriental musicians. --Bob F., Los Angeles 

Dear Bob:  

Muzak is recorded by studio musicians, so the smart
aleck in us is inclined to agree that a lot of it is
produced under the influence of drugs. (Although from
what one hears about them, the Muzak musicians
actually are a pretty clean living bunch.) At one
time the company claimed it used recording facilities
"all over the world," so we might also wish to
conjecture that some of it was made in Japan--although,
again, the reality is that one of the main overseas
suppliers was the Brno Radio Orchestra of Czechoslovakia.
Today, however, much of the music is recorded in a
studio in Seattle. The people who make Muzak are the same
type of have-guitar-will-travel instrumentalists who do
commercial and pop-record sessions. They're currently
cranking it out at a clip of roughly 1,000 new tunes per
year, and the company maintains a library of some 5,000
recordings. 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_317.html
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