The Straight Dope 03/26/2004

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 03/26/2004

Dear Cecil:

I have heard for years that it is illegal to attempt suicide, but do
such suicide laws really exist? If so, where and why? Obviously those
who are successful in their attempts are beyond the reach of the law,
and it seems awfully mean to add to the woes of those who have failed by
bringing them up on charges. More seriously, wouldn't such a law
discourage someone who had attempted suicide from seeking professional
help? If such laws do exist, are they ever enforced? Do people go to
jail for attempted suicide? --t., via the Internet 

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Cecil replies:

Old joke:

Q: What's the punishment for suicide?

A: Life imprisonment.

Q: What's the punishment for attempted suicide?

A: Hanging.

OK, so it wasn't that funny the first time. But you see my point: How
can suicide be illegal, given that the perp can't be punished?
Nonetheless it has been, and until quite recently in some places
(Ireland repealed its law in 1993). This seems absurd, but as with many
of our more curious laws, we only see it that way now thanks to evolving
ideas of morality.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040326.html

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STAFF REPORT

Dear Straight Dope:

The hosts of a local AM talk show recently joked about the phrase
"guerilla warfare," picturing gorillas with AK-47s. They next pondered
the phrase's origin and challenged listeners to solve their problem. Why
they couldn't do the research themselves I don't know. I've decided to
show some initiative and ask you.  Diligently, Frank

SDSTAFF bibliophage and SDSTAFF Ken reply:

Clearly this program did not have a large Hispanic audience, because any
Spanish speaker knows that guerra means war and the diminutive guerilla
thus means little war, in particular a fast-moving skirmish type of
warfare with hit-and-run raids. The term was soon applied to the fighter
in such wars. The first recorded usage in English is by the Duke of
Wellington during the Napoleonic Wars, when he wrote, "I have
recommended to the Junta to set the Guerrillas to work towards
Madrid." The fighters were Spanish, hence the use of a Spanish term. 

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mguerilla.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 07/16/1976

Dear Cecil: 

On our vacation to the wilds of Wisconsin, we noticed some of the locals
picking cattails from the swamps. My husband asked them why, and the
terse midwestern reply was, "eat 'em." Is this on the level? If so, how
do you cook them--roast the tips like hot dogs? --R.B., Chicago

Dear R.:

Cattails are one of the enduring favorites of the Euell Gibbons crowd,
and can be enjoyed in at least three different ways. The favored cut of
the cattail is the inner portion of the stem, called, for unknown
reasons, "Cossack asparagus." The outer covering of the stalk is removed
by pulling down on the leaves that cover it, breaking off the shell near
the roots and exposing anywhere from one to twelve inches of the
succulent white pseudo-asparagus. It can be washed and eaten raw,
chopped up for salads, or cooked in a stew. The best plants for
harvesting are the younger sprouts, two feet tall or so, in the early
spring, but the stems are edible all summer long.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_353b.html

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