B5: Legend of the Rangers

To exete dei afto? To akoloutho review ekfrazei kai ta dika mou
aisthimata gia to sygkekrimeno aborted pilot (dystixos).

*Spoiler free section*

Anybody who has read my previous reviews for the Babylon 5 Movies and
Crusade will be aware that I'm a bit of a fan of the Babylon 5 universe. By
plotting out a 5 year series from the beginning, creator J. Michael
Straczynski was able to create epic plotlines with great payoffs for long
term viewers. Though the acting in B5 could sometime be a little hammy, the
FX a little too "what my brother could have done on his PC in the den", and
the plotlines a tad too melodramatic at times, that was all part of the fun
of the series.

    However, after Crusade was cut midway through its first season after
only a handful of episodes (barely enough to establish the central
characters, let alone start working on the rest), this seems to have been a
bit of a hit to Straczynski's confidence. In a last ditch effort to
resuscitate the franchise, Straczynski conceived of a tale about a band of
misfit Rangers whose tales would fill in the gaps where B5 and Crusade could
no longer go. This series would be entitled - Legend of The Rangers.

    The pilot of this series is the topic of this review - the enigmatically
(and perhaps also embarrassingly) titled To Live And Die In Starlight. Given
that this pilot came and went on TV with such brevity that many B5 fans
weren't even aware of it, you probably already have some idea about how well
this show hung together. I sat down to this with trepidation that, it turns
out, was well deserved.

(Plot synopsis goes here -- tin metefera sto telos giati periexei mild
spoilers)

Okay, after typing that plot synopsis I have to suppress an involuntary
shudder.

    Urgh.

    Composure.

    Composure.

    Okay, if, somewhere out there in cyberspace, Straczynski is reading this
review, I just have one question for him: "What the fuck?" Some may find my
query a tad impolite, even vulgar, and you're entitled to that opinion. All
I can say is, that was the first phrase out of my mouth after this show had
run its 90-odd minute course, followed in more detail by: "What the fuck was
with the dialogue in this show, like teenagers spouting clichΞΉd one-liners
that sounded cool when they were four? What the fuck was with the acting,
like a collection of cardboard cut-outs ham fisting their way through a set?
What the fuck was with the haunted ship? And most of all, what the fuck was
with that horrible, horrible, horrible scene where Cantrell kicks and
punches and yells in her VR weapons environment like Astroboy firing laser
bolts out of his arse? The whole concept of such a physically exertive
weapons system makes no sense in the first place, but the yelling and
kicking like an autistic child having a fit of rage was so horrendously
childish I spent the whole thing cringing. Straczynski, as a long time fan,
I was embarrassed for you, man. And embarrassed for poor Ms Syrois as well.
Truly, truly embarrassed."

    This show is a clunker. It makes Halle Berry's attempt at Catwoman look
fabulous. It makes Madonna's efforts in Swept Away look like Oscar material.
For B5 fans, think of the worst, absolute worst, episode of that show and
multiply it by 10 and you're coming close to the truly bad badness of this
schlockfest. You will cringe. You will shudder. You will snort with the
occasional chuckle of laughter at just how bad some of the dialogue is. And
then you will thank the studios for never throwing another dollar this
show's way.

    Though unfair to compare To Live And Die In Starlight to more modern
science fiction like the new series of Battlestar Galactica and Stargate
(both original and Atlantis flavour), this show isn't all that old by
comparison and yet the difference in quality is truly staggering. Hell,
Crusade was miles ahead of this and was its contemporary. I really just
don't know what on earth Staczynski was thinking, if anything.

    I'm being harsh, I'm sure - harsher than I ordinarily would on a show of
this type. But for me, this was a betrayal of the legacy of a show that was
a landmark of its time, and I feel somehow stabbed in the back by
Straczynski who bothered to take this to the producers after presumably at
least reading his own script through once. So disappointed.

    My advice: run, don't walk, and hide from this show. Pretend it never
happened. Purge it from your mind. It was all just a horrible, horrible,
embarrassing nightmare...

Kai edo akolouthei the plot synopsis. Periexei poly mikra spoilers

.
.
.
.
.
.
To Live And Die In Starlight tells the tale of a rag tag group of Rangers,
those cloak wearing bow-staff toting spies that act as the intelligence arm
of the Interstellar Alliance. Outcast for fleeing from a battle in the face
of certain death, and retaining status as Rangers only by virtue of an
intervention by G'Kar (Andreas Katsulas), these misfits are instead given
their own ship - a barely functioning haunted rust-bucket, and sent as an
escort on a secret diplomatic mission. The crew is composed of:

human David Martell (Dylan Neal), square jawed pretty boy who looks like
(and acts like) he's straight from The Bold And The Beautiful, and also the
leader of the bunch;

Minbari commander Dulann (Alex Zahara), an enigmatic but slightly more
pragmatic Minbari than usual with subtle telepathic gifts;

human weapons specialist Sarah Cantrell (Myriam Syrois), another human with
some great overacting ... but not much more;

Narn engineer, Na'Feel (Jennie Rebecca Hogan);

Minbari healer, Firell (Enid-Raye Adams);

Drazi security officer, Tafeek (David Storch); and

human intelligence officer, Sasaki (Warren T. Takeuchi).

    But when the diplomatic mission is ambushed by a new and deadly enemy,
known only as The Hand, these misfits must band together in order to survive
and keep the remaining delegates alive.





------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> 
See what's inside the new Yahoo! Groups email.
http://us.click.yahoo.com/0It09A/bOaOAA/yQLSAA/DtIolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~-> 

 
Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SFGR/

<*> Your email settings:
    Individual Email | Traditional

<*> To change settings online go to:
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SFGR/join
    (Yahoo! ID required)

<*> To change settings via email:
    mailto:[email protected] 
    mailto:[email protected]

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
    [email protected]

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
    http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/