[SwF] Air India !!

Air India

Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make su
re you don't charge me for food and drinks!"

So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked.

The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!"

The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American.

"Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly.

Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American.

"What is it?" asked the American.

"Sweet of India!" replied the old man.

After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud "Poooooooo..!" from the uncle.

"What was that?" asked the American in disgus
t.

The old man replied coolly, "That's Air India!"

r u there ???

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter,
ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all,
so they decided that one has to leave, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to name that person, until the woman held a very touching speech.
She said that she will voluntarily let go of the rope,
because as a woman she is used to giving up everything for her husband and
kids, or for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.

Guess who sacrificed
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As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started
clapping their hands..hehe

r u there ???

POLISH DIVORCE

A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick". The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "Ja, Ja, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms."

LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar", he responded.

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No" he replied. "We ha
ve a two-car carport, and have never really needed one."

LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations are in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

LAWYER: "No, I mean does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No. I'm always up before her."

LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."

LAWYER: "Why do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She b
uy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it say: 'Polish Remover'.

r u there ???

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about
the difference between right and wrong.

"All right children, let's take another example," she said.
"If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his billfold
with all his money, what would I be?"

Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile,
he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"

******************************************************************

There was a blonde driving down the centre of the road at 100 mph. A
police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had
stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registrat
ion please."

"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do
this," she said smiling.

"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a
license."

To which the driver reached into her purse and handed him her license.
Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an
ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special
consideration."

She pointed to the bottom of the license and said, "Can you see this??
It says so right here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
After the initial embarrassment and uneasiness, they both go to sleep,the man in the upper berth and the woman in the lower berth.

In the middle of the night, the man leans over, gently wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold, and I was wondering if you could possibly reach over and get me another blanket?"

The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye says, "I have a better idea. Just for tonight let's pretend that we're married." The man happily says, "OK. AWESOME!"

The woman says, "GOOD.....get your own blanket!"

Two robbers are talking in their shared jail cell. The first one
asks, "What are you in for?"

"I'm here for something I didn't do," replied the other.

"So you're innocent? What didn't you do?"

"I didn't run fast enough."
r u there ???

I NevEr kNeW hOw WorshiP Untill I knEw HOw To Love .

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