[SwF] Anger Management

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I
was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten
to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying,"Hello." I politely said, "This is Irfan. Could
I please speak with Shaista?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on
me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down
Shaista's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two
digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to
call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!"
and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to
it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
"You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to
our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to
stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is Furqan from the
Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the
Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I
quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black Civic cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been
waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"sign
in his car window ...so, I wrote down his number. A couple of days
later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on
speed dial), I thought I had better call the Civic asshole too. I
said, "Is this the man with the black Civic for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 9211 Defence 6th Street. It's a yellow house, and the
car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Shakeel Ahmed," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Shakeel?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Shakeel, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after
several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to
be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me!" I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Shakeel Ahmed Khan."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 9211 Defence 6th Street, a yellow house, with my
black Civic parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Shakeel. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
at 9211 Defence 6th Street, and that I was on my way over there to
kill my gay lover. Then I called GEO News about the gang war going
down on Defence 6th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over
to 6th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each
other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news
crew.

NOW, I feel better!!

-- 
~FurSid
HTML Integrator
b.i.t.s. [Associates of JWT Asiatic]
URL: http://www.bitsonline.net
cell: [ 0320-4051131 ]


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