A revelation: Buffy sucks.

Hear me out. It's typical that the "Buffy sucks" people have seen 
nary an episode, or maybe like one or two. I have the entire series 
on DVD, but only after repeated viewings did I realize how much this 
show truly blows ass, and for very specific reasons:

a.) Buffy's character is a horrible conception - Obviously, a 
character has to be flawed in order to fascinate us, but strangely 
many of her flaws are championed by the show. Often, she's a whiny, 
deluded ho who only has herself in mind, and according to Joss and 
Co., such a selfish agenda is enough to justify her grating 
whininess. A fine example is in "Dead Man's Party," when she 
continues to get all defensive (and even threatens to run away 
again!) after her friends and family don't shower her with 
accolades...even though she's the one that ditched them for three 
months with nary a phone call. Such selfishness pervades throughout 
the cast, from her, to Xander, to Dawn, etc. At least Cordy and Anya 
were funny in their selfish ways. The majority of the Scoobies just 
came off as having a horrible lack of compassion for anyone but 
themselves.

b.) The "wit" - Alright, in my opinion, truly witty writing must 1.) 
keep true to the drama/seriousness of the situation, 2.) be 
something that the character would plausibly say. The problem 
with "Buffy"'s supposed wit is that characters often find themselves 
saying things that Joss or Marti or the Drews might say, but never 
the characters themselves (either because of the situation they're 
in or simply because of who they are). Example: In "Selfless," 
Willow's on the phone with Buffy informing her of a massive 
slaughter with the victims' hearts ripped out. "Ripped out?" Buffy 
says, gravely. Then, upbeat: "Hey, did you get into that class you 
wanted?" Haha, yeah, I get it. Good for a laugh, but boy does that 
not make a whole lot of dramatic sense. Furthermore, Buffy's 
constantly shilling out literature/pop culture/sci-fi geek 
references, but - at least in the way they've come to define her 
character - I really don't see her sitting down to a comfy "Star 
Trek" marathon. The only characters who come off as remotely real in 
their wit would be Willow, Giles, Andrew, Cordy, and Anya. Which 
seems like a lot of people, but not when Buffy and Xander (ugh) are 
constantly shoved to the wit forefront.

c.) Visually unthrilling - The camerawork blows. Often, it remains 
static, in one place, as if all they had on hand was a tripod. The 
editing blows. "Buffy" is a prime offender for random, unmotivated 
cutting, and it nearly ruined the great musical episode; 
check "Going Through the Motions" for some fantastically awkward 
editing choices (ironically, during this scene on the DVD, Joss 
discusses in his commentary the importance of fluid editing in a 
musical! Ha, whoops). The production design blows. The show 
constantly utilizes cheapy alleys and warehouses for climactic 
showdowns. Spike/Drusilla's lair, Glory's tower, etc. The show's low 
budget isn't necessarily an excuse. You can do a lot with a little; 
the "Law & Order" series are great examples of how simplicity rocks. 
I guess it might seem a little cinematically shallow that I'm 
bitching about how boring the show looks, but you've gotta be 
visually interesting if you're using a visual medium. That's why 
you're a film/TV show and not a book.

d.) If the show were a person, it would masturbate 24/7 - Man, I 
have never seen a show more obsessed with itself. Don't get me 
wrong; I love all those neat references they throw back to previous 
episodes. ("Let's see how you handle having an identical twin." "I 
think I handled it just fine!") But the way the show treats its 
characters, it's as if no one else in the world exists/matters. 
Yeah, there were certainly six or so apocalypses, but it was always 
Buffy's well-being ultimately at stake, not, oh say, the lives of 
the six billion people she was tasked with saving; they were merely 
a plot device, a catalyst for Buffy's angst. Just one example: She 
blows up the Judge among a throng of screaming mallrats, and then 
the gang just goes home saying, "Mission accomplished!" What.

e.) Glorious, wonderful plot holes - A fan on the Season 7 DVD doc 
gloats, "Buffy is the one show that doesn't treat its audience like 
idiots." Ha! How do you explain the following?: 

- Buffy dies for three months, yet no new slayer is resurrected. I 
suppose a new one wouldn't be resurrected until Faith died, but in 
that case wouldn't the Council either try to spring her from prison 
so she can fight the demons, or simply kill her? I do remember that 
the the Scoobies wanted to keep Buffy's death hidden from everyone 
(including the Council), but why would Giles even allow it? He 
obviously wanted Buffy to stay dead. However, I think it was such a 
big plot point that I was just missing something obvious. 

- Vamps have no breath, and yet the First subjects Spike to drowning 
torture, vamps are often seen smoking, etc. etc.

- Wait...so there's serious, supernatural evil all over the world 
(China, New York, a hellmouth in Cleveland)...and yet the powers 
that be only task a single teenage girl to the task of fending it 
off? So you decrease the vampire population in one city, for your 
entire lifetime; how exactly is this keeping the balance of good and 
evil in check? Also, Buffy and Co. must find it extremely lucky that 
evil keeps coming to Sunnydale. Imagine how much Buffy would whine 
if they had to travel to one of the aforementioned, far away places 
to defeat any of the Big Bads...



Alright, I tried to justify all these qualms in the past by saying 
it's a fantasy, comic-booky show, but when the writers claim to have 
a higher agenda of playing toward emotional reality, then that 
justification no longer works.

I guess it's a tad curious that I'd have the entire series on DVD 
and yet be this upset with it. It's because there's also a lot here 
that made the show unique and fun to watch, even when things got 
stupid. More than anything, I love all the themes that Joss loves to 
explore; Season Seven's ripe with them. ("Same Time, Same 
Place," "Conversations with Dead People," "The Killer in 
Me," "Storyteller," and of course, "Chosen," all very fascinating.) 
and often, the show achieves greatness, somehow sidesteps all the 
above complaints. I do consider "The Body" to be one of the best 
episodes of television in general, and "Earshot" and "Living 
Conditions" are indeed masterpieces. However, these moments of 
greatness are oddly delivered in short bursts, making for one 
mediocre viewing experience in the time between.






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