Re: Greece Removes Archaeological Sites from Privatization Fund After Protests | GreekReporter.com

I remember posting the following here in 2012. At the time I thought it was
just a rather tasteless joke.

RH

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ATHENS --- Acropolis sale shocks world

In a move that took the world by surprise, the President of
Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev, announced yesterday on national
television that his oil-rich country would be not renting the
Acropolis, but buying it outright and taking it away for re-erection
in the country's capital, Astana. It is understood that the purchase
price agreed with the Greek government is 50 billion Euros.

After the President's broadcast, a spokesman said that not only will
all the buildings -- including the Parthenon, Erechtheum, Propylaea
and Temple of Athena Nike -- be removed and reassembled, but also a
33ft (10m) thick slice from the top of the natural hill on which they
stand. It would, he said, be only fitting to display these great
buildings in their natural setting.

He further explained that, as a nation boldly coming to the forefront
of the international scene, Kazakhstan had no taste for ruins, and
that all the buildings would be restored to their former completeness,
as they stood in c.430 BC. To this end, the country had already
purchased some 5000 tonnes of Pentelic marble.

The buildings would also be painted in their original bright colours,
with gilded details, and all their original fittings replaced,
including a facsimile of the colossal statue of the goddess Athena
that originally stood in the Parthenon, which will be created by the
renowned Kazakh sculptor Khakimzhan Naurzbayev. As in antiquity, the
statue will be mirrored in a broad pool of oil, in this case
top-quality Kazakh crude.

The British Museum confirmed that a team of Kazakh scientists had
already been permitted to take extensive laser measurements of the
Parthenon marbles, with a view to recreating them in their entirety,
replacing the missing heads and limbs, restoring all other damage, and
painting them in lifelike colours. They were, he confirmed, not in the
least interested in purchasing the originals, which will remain in the
museum, the only surviving parts of the Acropolis to stay in Europe.

The remains of the original Acropolis hill, now the property of the
Kazakh government, would be crowned with a complex of offices and
hotels, including a museum area open to the public where a 1:50 scale
model of the original site would be displayed.

In the words of President Nazarbayev, 'Kazakhstan is deeply proud of
having made such a huge contribution to the world's cultural
heritage.'

The Greek Ministry of Culture has not so far commented on the deal.