Re: I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-bridge-8021x-02.txt

On Fri, 25 Jul 2003 [email protected] wrote:
> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line
> Internet-Drafts directories. This draft is a work item of the
> Bridge MIB Working Group of the IETF.
> 
> 	Title		: Definitions for Port Access Control (IEEE
>                           802.1X) MIB
> 	Author(s)	: K. Norseth
> 	Filename	: draft-ietf-bridge-8021x-02.txt
> 	Pages		: 42
> 	Date		: 2003-7-25
> 	
[ ... ]
> A URL for this Internet-Draft is:
> http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-bridge-8021x-02.txt

Greetings,

I have three major comments on this draft and few minor ones.

MAJOR COMMENT: I see that in going from the -01 to the -02 draft the
following changes were made to the MODULE-IDENTITY invocation in the
IEEE8021-PAE-MIB:

*** 22,34 ****
--- 22,52 ----
   ieee8021paeMIB MODULE-IDENTITY
      LAST-UPDATED "200101160000Z"
      ORGANIZATION "IEEE 802.1 Working Group"
      CONTACT-INFO
          "http://grouper.ieee.org/groups/802/1/index.html"
+ 
+     ORGANIZATION "IETF Bridge MIB Working Group"
+     CONTACT-INFO
+         "Email: [email protected]"
+ 
+                  K.C. Norseth
+                  L-3 Communications
+             Tel: +1 801-594-2809
+           Email: [email protected]
+          Postal: 640 N. 2200 West.
+                  Salt Lake City, Utah 84116-0850
+ 
+          Send comments to <[email protected]>
+ 
      DESCRIPTION
          "The Port Access Entity module for managing IEEE
          802.1X."
+ 
+         "Copyright (C) The Internet Society (2003). This version of
+          this MIB module is part of RFC xxxx; see the RFC itself for
+          full legal notices."
  
    --    ::= { iso(1) std(0) iso8802(8802) ieee802dot1(1)
    --          ieee802dot1mibs(1) 1 }
    ::= { iso std(0) iso8802(8802) ieee802dot1(1) ieee802dot1mibs(1) 1 }
  
I believe that these changes (i.e., the added lines marked above
with '+') should be backed out.  For one thing, the MIB module won't
compile when they are present.  For another, this MIB module is NOT
an IETF MIB module.  It is an IEEE MIB module, as the draft
explicitly says.  Therefore, the IEEE 802.1 WG should remain listed
as the ORGANIZATION and its web site should be listed in the
CONTACT-INFO.  Also, since the IEEE owns the copyright, not the
IETF, it seems wrong to insert the standard ISOC MIB copyright here.

MAJOR COMMENT:  since this draft is republishing an IEEE standard,
it the Full Copyright Statement language needs to reflect this fact.  
The IETF does not own the copyright and does not have change
control, but the Full Copyright Statement (which is a verbatim copy
of the one in Section 10 of RFC 2026) says otherwise.  This needs to
be fixed.  Note that the version of the Full Copyright Statement
that is in RFC 2026 is intended for standards-track documents, not
for informational republication of standards from other SDOs.

MAJOR COMMENT:  the I-D boilerplate should probably have the "except
the right to make derivative works" language, since the MIB module
is an IEEE standard and change control is not being ceded to the
IETF.

MINOR COMMENT:  in the Abstract, s/SNMPv2 SMI/SMIv2/

MINOR COMMENT:  since this version of the MIB module has some
updates from the IEEE original in order to correct some MIB
compilation errors, it might be a good idea to add a
REVISION/DESCRIPTION pair and also to change the LAST-UPDATED clause
to match the new REVISION clause. The verbiage at the beginning of
Section 4 claims that this stuff is present, but it is not.  It
might also be a good idea to suggest to the IEEE to post the
corrected MIB module on their web site (that would also have the
salutary effect of making the ASN.1 comment at the front of the MIB
module with the URL less misleading).

MINOR COMMENT:  the ASN.1 comment that shows the original
(incorrect) form for the OID assigned to ieee8021paeMIB is not
helpful and should be removed (in general, broken stuff should be
removed, not commented out, and the changes should be documented in
a REVISION/DESCRIPTION pair).

MINOR COMMENT:  in the DESCRIPTION clause of
dot1xAuthBackendNonNakResponsesFromSupplicant
s/Authenticators/Authenticator's/ (the apostrophe was apparently
deleted when the non-ascii quotes in the original were converted to
ascii).

MINOR COMMENT:  the change log section is broken.  It records the
-00 to -01 changes but says otherwise.  Also, there should be a
note to the RFC Editor indicating that the section is to be
removed prior to publication as an RFC.

Regards,

Mike Heard