RE: Comments on draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt
"Matt Squire" <[email protected]>
| Newsgroups | gmane.ietf.hubmib |
|---|---|
| Message-ID | <[email protected]> |
Hi Dan -
I don't think I responded to your note earlier. Responding to the editorial comments below. A separate email will address the more difficult technical issues. Thanks.
- Matt
Here are my comments on draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt. This document being in Last Call, all comments need to be taken into consideration, including the minor ones the comments editorial in nature.
First running idnits we get the following:
tmp/draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt:
tmp/draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt(319): Line has weird spacing: '...ficInfo dot3...'
tmp/draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt(325): Line has weird spacing: '...ationTx dot3O...'
tmp/draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt(326): Line has weird spacing: '...ationRx dot3O...'
tmp/draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt(347): Line has weird spacing: '...dConfig dot...'
tmp/draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt(355): Line has weird spacing: '...dConfig dot3O...'
tmp/draft-ietf-hubmib-efm-mib-02.txt(1691): Line has weird spacing: '...smitted on th...'
Except for the last one, the complaints are about columns in a table, which I intend to leave as is. The spacing is weird, but its a table, and the columns are aligned.
Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/ID-Checklist.html :
Checking conformance with RFC 3667/3668 boilerplate...
* The document claims conformance with section 10 of RFC 2026, but uses
some RFC 3667/3668 boilerplate. As RFC 3667/3668 replaces section 10 of RFC
2026, you should not claim conformance with it if you have changed to using
RFC 3667/3668 boilerplate.
Changed to 3667 boilerplate (which is probably already outdated!). Are we supposed to jump to the newest 3997/3998 stuff yet?
* The document seems to lack an RFC 3667 Section 5.1 IPR Disclosure
Acknowledgement -- however, there's a paragraph with a matching beginning.
Boilerplate error?
(Expected a match on the following text:
"By submitting this Internet-Draft, each author represents that any
applicable patent or other IPR claims of which he or she is aware
have been or will be disclosed, and any of which he or she becomes
aware will be disclosed, in accordance with Section 6 of RFC 3668."
... but found this:
"By submitting this Internet-Draft, I certify that any applicable
patent or other IPR claims of which I am aware have been disclosed,
or will be disclosed, and any of which I become aware will be
disclosed, in accordance with RFC 3668 [RFC3668].")
Changed (though 3667 has "I" instead of "he or she").
* The document seems to lack an RFC 3668 Section 5, para 3 IPR Disclosure
Invitation -- however, there's a paragraph with a matching beginning.
Boilerplate error?
(Expected a match on the following text:
"The IETF invites any interested party to bring to its attention any
copyrights, patents or patent applications, or other proprietary
rights that may cover technology that may be required to implement
this standard. Please address the information to the IETF at
[email protected]."
... but found this:
"The IETF invites any interested party to bring to its attention any
copyrights, patents or patent applications, or other proprietary
rights that may cover technology that may be required to implement
EFM OAM MIB October 2004")
This was just where the page happened to break, I'm sure the next version will break the page somewhere else.
Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/ietf/1id-guidelines.txt :
* The document seems to lack a 1id_guidelines paragraph about
Internet-Drafts being working documents -- however, there's a paragraph with
a matching beginning. Boilerplate error?
(Expected a match on the following text:
"Internet-Drafts are working documents of the Internet Engineering
Task Force (IETF), its areas, and its working groups. Note that
other groups may also distribute working documents as Internet-Drafts."
... but found this:
"Internet-Drafts are working documents of the Internet Engineering
Task Force (IETF), its areas, and its working groups. Note that
other groups may also distribute working documents as Internet Drafts.")
Fixed missing dash.
More:
Technical
I'll address technical issues in a separate email.
Editorial
E1. The expiration date on the footer of all pages excepting the first is longer than the accepted six months period.
got it, all will be updated with latest dates.
E2. Section 3.1 - last phrase '...notifications into within the SNMP ...' needs to be fixed
fixed
E3. Section 3.2, second paragraph - no need to capitalize DOES NOT
done
E4. Section 4, second phrase - replace 'affects' by 'effects'
done
E5. Section 4.1 - 'Ethernet-like' is duplicated
addressed
E6. Section 4.2 - correct 'ThisThe' in the first phrase
Corrected.
E7. Titles of Section 4 - replace 'MIBs' with 'MIB modules'
Fixed.
E8. First phrase of 4.2 - replace 'MIBs' by 'MIB modules' and MIB document'' by 'MIB module'
Replaced.
E9. Numbering of subsections 4.24.3 and 4.34.4 is broken
Not sure how that happened, but fixed now.
E10. Last phrase in 4.34.4 - replace 'MIB' by 'MIB module', decide about 'waymanner'
Done.
E11. I would strongly recommend to add UNITS clauses for all objects where these apply, especially for counters
I added units for all of the normal things (bytes, frames, etc.). How do I handle when a 64-bit quantity is split between two Unsigned32s? Are both Unsigned32s the same unit thats being counted by the 64-bit quantity, or am i supposed to refer to the Hi/Lo 32-bits as different UNITs?
E12. No need for something like REFERENCE "N/A". If there is no reference, there is no reference clause.
Removed a bunch of these.
E13 Avoid using Traps, even in object names (dot3OamTraps, dot3OamTrapsPrefix, etc.)
Replaced 'Trap' with 'Notif' (dot3OamNotifs, ...).
E14 Some characters seem to have been corrupted when copied to the [802.3ah reference]
For some reason, some "-" were corrupted. This isn't in the source file, so its a result of the translation from Word to txt. I'll have to watch out for this again.
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